EXPOSED: The iMac disaster that almost was

San Francisco, CA — It’s easy to appreciate iMac’s place in Apple history today.

Not so much back in 1998.

In fact, Apple’s concerns over the brand-new computer’s viability had the company scrambling.

The surprising story comes to light in iMaculate Conception: How Apple’s iMac Was Born, a new book from former Apple marketing executive, Frederica Woods.

As Ms. Woods spins the tale, it was just weeks before iMac’s first Christmas in 1998 when slowing holiday sales rang the alarm in the CEO’s office.

Steve Jobs, a lifelong fan of James Bond (he’d originally wanted to name the revolutionary computer “Double-O-Mac”), instructed his agency to begin work on a special celebrity Christmas ad featuring 007 himself, Sean Connery — even though Connery had yet to be signed.

An exasperated Sean Connery gives Steve Jobs a piece of his mind

“The ad was of dubious quality, clearly not one of the agency’s finer moments,” says Woods.

Though Steve had a thing for Sean Connery, the feeling was not mutual. Connery was appalled by the “advert” Jobs sent across the pond and declined to participate in the misadventure on at least three separate occasions.

Connery’s final rejection was accompanied by a note revealing one mightily peeved film star (see letter on right).

Needless to say, iMac managed to “survive” without extraordinary measures.

iMaculate Conception reveals a number of other interesting iMac-related stories. Ms. Woods details the true origin of the failed “hockey-puck mouse”design — a burnt English muffin. She also tells the heart-thumping tale of Jony Ive’s hernia, suffered when he attempted to actually pick up an iMac by its handle.

The book will be available at Barnes & Noble and other stores on June 27th.

  • Anonymous

    Awesome letter…so glad I saw this.

  • GuestUser

    The battle of egos…  No, Mr. Connery, you are AN ACTOR, you are not JAMES BOND. :)  And yes, Steve Jobs, you are a COMPUTER SALESMAN.

  • Anonymous

    Oh yeah, I totally believe that letter is real. Nobody can tell jobs to f**k off like ol’ Sean Connery ;-)

  • guest

    Was this letter leaked to CBS? 

  • Noreply

    Surely, this is a joke.

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  • Jeffrey Goldberg

    Gee I wonder if this is real. I mean the “Unreal Apple News” text in the upper right corner and the “All the news that’s fit to fabricate” in the left might lead someone think twice about this. But I don’t know, even with the “Get all your breaking fake Apple news from Scoopertino” on the bottom of the advert does make me wonder a bit.

    Still, it’s from Sean Connery, so it must be real.

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  • http://www.limonoff.net Konstantin Limonoff

    This looks like a real thing! Had fun :))))

  • http://www.limonoff.net Konstantin Limonoff

    This looks like a real thing! Had fun :))))

  • http://jackyan.com Jack Yan

    Not a bad fake, as fakes go—certainly better than the Memogate Linotype Times-off-a-laser-printer-in-1973 ones.

    Still, too many issues with it to make it convincing, so better luck next time: why would (a) his PA write in an American style, assuming this was sent across the Pond (in which case it’s odd that the country in the header is omitted, and ‘Best’ is not a normal closing for a Scot, nor are the many Americanisms in punctuation and style); (b) they use what appears to be an ancient typewriter, even by 1990s’ standards (you know, Finding Forrester was fiction)—Sir Sean has a lot of holdings worldwide, so he actually has quite an efficient office; (c) the ancient typewriter have proportional spacing—ones that did by the turn of the 1990s had much better printing than this, and the various characters are too regular in their anachronisms (spot the darker e); (d) he have the 007 logo on the page without some trade mark acknowledgement—or, considering he’s been trying to get away from the role since 1983, why would he even feature it?

    Thank you for posting it though. I know this site does parody news, but I had fun checking this out.

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  • Fay

    Completely unbelievable as it is written in American English. Sean Connery would not say ”crass” or end it with ”Best,” and I’m sorry to say he would not be so rude in an official letter however much he was annoyed. This is as distant from British English as you can possibly get. Also, he is very modest and would never presume to have the 007 logo printed on his headed paper.

  • http://twitter.com/CamilloMiller Camillo Miller

    I’m always stunned by the amount of people who try to analyze with extreme precision every single parody article that appears in this website.

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  • http://twitter.com/rsjhayes rsjhayes

    crass and best aren’t confined to American English are you joking? I use both of those all the time born and bred in England

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  • http://www.ghabuntu.com/ ghabuntu

    Ugh…just wasted 2 mins of my life

  • http://www.ghabuntu.com/ ghabuntu

    Ugh…just wasted 2 mins of my life

  • TheVivienne

    I may have no perfect English-es that you are talking about. But since it’s the international language. One single soul in every country might have know how to speak the tongue. It takes one to understand to be understood. Nothing is Impossible because IM possible – Audrey Hepburn quote :P :P :P

  • TheVivienne

    I may have no perfect English-es that you are talking about. But since it’s the international language. One single soul in every country might have know how to speak the tongue. It takes one to understand to be understood. Nothing is Impossible because IM possible – Audrey Hepburn quote :P :P :P

  • TheVivienne

    I may have no perfect English-es that you are talking about. But since it’s the international language. One single soul in every country might have know how to speak the tongue. It takes one to understand to be understood. Nothing is Impossible because IM possible – Audrey Hepburn quote :P :P :P

  • TheVivienne

    I may have no perfect English-es that you are talking about. But since it’s the international language. One single soul in every country might have know how to speak the tongue. It takes one to understand to be understood. Nothing is Impossible because IM possible – Audrey Hepburn quote :P :P :P

  • TheVivienne

    How can I possibly react what name it should be on the ‘navy blue code’ … its already written since time immemorial — iV that’s it iV …. lolzzzzzZzzzZzzz I need to sleep guys. I need energy to work tomorrow, catch me then. Please. Please please :)

  • TheVivienne

    How can I possibly react what name it should be on the ‘navy blue code’ … its already written since time immemorial — iV that’s it iV …. lolzzzzzZzzzZzzz I need to sleep guys. I need energy to work tomorrow, catch me then. Please. Please please :)

  • TheVivienne

    How can I possibly react what name it should be on the ‘navy blue code’ … its already written since time immemorial — iV that’s it iV …. lolzzzzzZzzzZzzz I need to sleep guys. I need energy to work tomorrow, catch me then. Please. Please please :)

  • http://twitter.com/jmrowland jmrowland

    In the immortal words of Elaine Benes, “Fake… fake, fake.”

  • http://twitter.com/jmrowland jmrowland

    In the immortal words of Elaine Benes, “Fake… fake, fake.”

  • http://twitter.com/jmrowland jmrowland

    In the immortal words of Elaine Benes, “Fake… fake, fake.”

  • http://twitter.com/jmrowland jmrowland

    In the immortal words of Elaine Benes, “Fake… fake, fake.”

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  • Anonymous

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