EXPOSED: The iMac disaster that almost was

San Francisco, CA — It’s easy to appreciate iMac’s place in Apple history today.

Not so much back in 1998.

In fact, Apple’s concerns over the brand-new computer’s viability had the company scrambling.

The surprising story comes to light in iMaculate Conception: How Apple’s iMac Was Born, a new book from former Apple marketing executive, Frederica Woods.

As Ms. Woods spins the tale, it was just weeks before iMac’s first Christmas in 1998 when slowing holiday sales rang the alarm in the CEO’s office.

Steve Jobs, a lifelong fan of James Bond (he’d originally wanted to name the revolutionary computer “Double-O-Mac”), instructed his agency to begin work on a special celebrity Christmas ad featuring 007 himself, Sean Connery — even though Connery had yet to be signed.

An exasperated Sean Connery gives Steve Jobs a piece of his mind

“The ad was of dubious quality, clearly not one of the agency’s finer moments,” says Woods.

Though Steve had a thing for Sean Connery, the feeling was not mutual. Connery was appalled by the “advert” Jobs sent across the pond and declined to participate in the misadventure on at least three separate occasions.

Connery’s final rejection was accompanied by a note revealing one mightily peeved film star (see letter on right).

Needless to say, iMac managed to “survive” without extraordinary measures.

iMaculate Conception reveals a number of other interesting iMac-related stories. Ms. Woods details the true origin of the failed “hockey-puck mouse”design — a burnt English muffin. She also tells the heart-thumping tale of Jony Ive’s hernia, suffered when he attempted to actually pick up an iMac by its handle.

The book will be available at Barnes & Noble and other stores on June 27th.

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  • Anonymous

    HAHAHA, love it!

  • Anonymous

    Wish Connery would walk up to that dope Jobs while he’s presenting a new product and slap him in the face…..lol!

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  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JEMLYRJ37GGNTTWE4LFJI6XZNE Big Bolshevik

    “She also tells the heart-thumping tale of Jony Ive’s hernia, suffered when he attempted to actually pick up an iMac by its handle.”
    This made me lol. I don’t think I ever trusted that plastic handle with the iMac’s whole weight.

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  • Greg

    Sean Connery never sullies his name by selling products…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU6X6ohNM3w

  • Greg

    Sean Connery never sullies his name by selling products…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU6X6ohNM3w

  • http://jackyan.com Jack Yan

    I’m really hoping you are a troll with big red targets in every sentence, because this is getting funnier by the day.

    If not, then the penny still hasn’t dropped yet, I see.

    I know you would dearly, deeply love this to be real, as a child might wish Santa to be, and as real as your personable snakes and chincillas. (Mind you, the last time I read of someone thinking a snake had personality, it was set in the Garden of Eden.)

    I have dealt with Sean’s businesses. And a lot more recently than 1963. But even if I hadn’t, I know a fake when I see it. Just as everyone else has on this page, but you.

    How?

    This is a parody site. Look up the word. I assume you have a dictionary, though judging by your writing, maybe not. Every article on here is a spoof. Look up that word, too. Oh, I did mention this in every single comment above, but you got a tad carried away with telling us Scotland isn’t near ‘the capital of Asia.’

    No, still nothing?

    Well, there’s this Microsoft lottery that I’ve just heard about that may interest you …

  • http://jackyan.com Jack Yan

    I’m really hoping you are a troll with big red targets in every sentence, because this is getting funnier by the day.

    If not, then the penny still hasn’t dropped yet, I see.

    I know you would dearly, deeply love this to be real, as a child might wish Santa to be, and as real as your personable snakes and chincillas. (Mind you, the last time I read of someone thinking a snake had personality, it was set in the Garden of Eden.)

    I have dealt with Sean’s businesses. And a lot more recently than 1963. But even if I hadn’t, I know a fake when I see it. Just as everyone else has on this page, but you.

    How?

    This is a parody site. Look up the word. I assume you have a dictionary, though judging by your writing, maybe not. Every article on here is a spoof. Look up that word, too. Oh, I did mention this in every single comment above, but you got a tad carried away with telling us Scotland isn’t near ‘the capital of Asia.’

    No, still nothing?

    Well, there’s this Microsoft lottery that I’ve just heard about that may interest you …

  • http://jackyan.com Jack Yan

    I’m really hoping you are a troll with big red targets in every sentence, because this is getting funnier by the day.

    If not, then the penny still hasn’t dropped yet, I see.

    I know you would dearly, deeply love this to be real, as a child might wish Santa to be, and as real as your personable snakes and chincillas. (Mind you, the last time I read of someone thinking a snake had personality, it was set in the Garden of Eden.)

    I have dealt with Sean’s businesses. And a lot more recently than 1963. But even if I hadn’t, I know a fake when I see it. Just as everyone else has on this page, but you.

    How?

    This is a parody site. Look up the word. I assume you have a dictionary, though judging by your writing, maybe not. Every article on here is a spoof. Look up that word, too. Oh, I did mention this in every single comment above, but you got a tad carried away with telling us Scotland isn’t near ‘the capital of Asia.’

    No, still nothing?

    Well, there’s this Microsoft lottery that I’ve just heard about that may interest you …

  • barry
  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    I really hoped the book was real.

  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    I really hoped the book was real.

  • Thom

    Dude, you’ve fooled yourself. It’s not a troll. It’s called sarcasm. Look it up. It existed before trolls. Really. I’m not making that up.

  • Thom

    Dude, you’ve fooled yourself. It’s not a troll. It’s called sarcasm. Look it up. It existed before trolls. Really. I’m not making that up.

  • Amused

    This is the funniest thing ever – actually debating whether something is ‘fake’ on a specifically fake site is hysterical…keep going, so very amusing!

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  • Onutz Verde

    Omg, so you say that’d be hard to sign if it’s fake? Maybe they strove really hard…?

  • On&Anon

    Snakes & chinchillas & the truth! o my

  • On&Anon

    Snakes & chinchillas & the truth! o my

  • MichaelS

    ¡¡ wHAT’s tHE fREQUENCY kENNETH !!  ???

  • MichaelS

    ¡¡ wHAT’s tHE fREQUENCY kENNETH !!  ???

  • well r. u.?

    FrankLee, r. u. sirius!?

  • well r. u.?

    FrankLee, r. u. sirius!?

  • wc

    When it gets really hot – and melts off?  It becomes the perfect “Guacamole Tray” ! :)

  • wc

    When it gets really hot – and melts off?  It becomes the perfect “Guacamole Tray” ! :)

  • TheVivienne

    What the hey! hey? Hey!! ha i’m talking Too MeSelf Naow???  toooo laaattteee must eat me,clowns must clleeeeppp!!!!!

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  • Anonymous

    Well that was fucking stupid. 

  • Lawrence N Fenton

    I second that. So hysterical. Yes. And funny. So funny. Bit like the guy who lives next door to me who thinks he’s James Bond and karate chops me in the windpipe everytime I go out calling for my Pussy. But then that really hurts, a bit like Johnny Ives hernia. And that’s not funny.

  • http://jackyan.com Jack Yan

    Could be, Thom, though she’s pretty persistent. Most sarcastic folks I know would leave it at one.

    Then again, I didn’t.

    And I have to admit to enjoying what comes up next.

  • John

    No, I think Mr. Connery just wanted to sell sugar water for the rest of his life, unlike, I suppose, John Sculley.

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  • http://twitter.com/GuidoValdez Guido Valdez

    Holy Fuck!!! Chinchillas roll in the dirt? That’s the last time I’ll eat one of the little bastards.

  • http://about.me/bentyyc Ben Tsui

    Just step back, take a breath, and pretend it’s real. Very amusing – especially if you read the letter while trying to do a Connery impersonation…

  • SweetGypsyLee

    Thanks for   that nice  explanation.  I am so ashamed now, but  I know I was bamboozeled and I was wrong.  I guess   I just assumed it was real.   I can take my knocks tho’.   Maybe I wanted it to be real out of my own nostalgia or whatever else.   I can’t turn back  the hands of time.  I wish I could and undo some of my arthritis I’m in constant pain.    I would dance again – those were heady  times.   I can barely   run my computer, let alone all the other crazy  technology out there – it’s all   beyond me.   Thanks agin -  Gypsy

  • SweetGypsyLee

    Mr. Yan – I’m   sorry I was   wrong and over the top.   I just thought  the news was real  and maybe  am too old  to know better  now.    Please accept my   apology.   – Gypsy

  • SweetGypsyLee

    Mr. Yan – I’m   sorry I was   wrong and over the top.   I just thought  the news was real  and maybe  am too old  to know better  now.    Please accept my   apology.   – Gypsy

  • SweetGypsyLee

    Mr. Yan – I’m   sorry I was   wrong and over the top.   I just thought  the news was real  and maybe  am too old  to know better  now.    Please accept my   apology.   – Gypsy

  • SweetGypsyLee

    Mr. Yan – I’m   sorry I was   wrong and over the top.   I just thought  the news was real  and maybe  am too old  to know better  now.    Please accept my   apology.   – Gypsy

  • SweetGypsyLee

    Mr. Yan – I’m   sorry I was   wrong and over the top.   I just thought  the news was real  and maybe  am too old  to know better  now.    Please accept my   apology.   – Gypsy

  • SweetGypsyLee

    Mr. Yan – I’m   sorry I was   wrong and over the top.   I just thought  the news was real  and maybe  am too old  to know better  now.    Please accept my   apology.   – Gypsy

  • SweetGypsyLee

    Mr. Yan – I’m   sorry I was   wrong and over the top.   I just thought  the news was real  and maybe  am too old  to know better  now.    Please accept my   apology.   – Gypsy

  • SweetGypsyLee

    Mr. Yan – I’m   sorry I was   wrong and over the top.   I just thought  the news was real  and maybe  am too old  to know better  now.    Please accept my   apology.   – Gypsy

  • SweetGypsyLee

    That helps   me  to  know  about Snopes.   Maybe I  will  get tricked   less often now.

  • SweetGypsyLee

    That helps   me  to  know  about Snopes.   Maybe I  will  get tricked   less often now.

  • SweetGypsyLee

    That helps   me  to  know  about Snopes.   Maybe I  will  get tricked   less often now.