WWDC 2012: Scoopertino live blog transcript

For those who missed it, here is a transcript of Scoopertino’s live coverage of yesterday’s WWDC 2012 at San Francisco’s Moscone Center.

Hey everyone. Roland Greenfellow here at WWDC 2012 for Scoopertino — the only news organization with the nerve to tell it like it isn’t. Thanks for tuning in.

9:42AM There was a line around Moscone at 4AM. Got here at 9AM, but some Engadget guy let me cut in for my Caramel Macchiato.

9:51AM Inside now. I’m a little worried that some of the attendees might have their cults mixed up.

10:01AM Okay, music ending. Expect Tim Cook any moment. And here he is, bounding onto the stage — in Lederhosen! Oh. My. Goodness.

10:02AM Tim: “We’ll get to the new stuff soon, but first — let’s talk about my wardrobe.”

10:03AM “You know, Steve had his look. I’m not going to touch that. I want to ‘do my own thing,’ as you kids say. No firm decisions yet. I’ll be trying a few outfits in the coming months and see what feels right.”

10:22AM First up: Phil Schiller with juiced up MacBook Airs. Thin, light, blah, blah, blah.

10:38AM New MacBook Pro!!! Retina display is super cool, but the best news: it’s totally optimized for taking your money. This baby has slots for credit card, currency and coins — and Apple is also making an optional bullion drive. I’ll try depleting my resources in all formats after the show.

10:55AM Now we’re moving into software. Craig Federighi is up on stage to talk about OS X.

10:57AM Shocker: Apple is changing course on Mountain Lion. They’ve had to yank key features and are afraid of overhype. Will pull back on expectations by renaming it “Mountain Goat.”

11:02AM Tim is back. Now he’s trying the untucked shirt look. A brief moment for iPrayer, accompanied by Federighi on organ. We pray for Apple to succeed in its plan for world domination, going thermonuclear if necessary. Amen.

11:06AM Forstall is up. As expected, a whole new map capability in iOS 6. How cool is this! New Molecular View lets you zoom in much closer than you can with Google Maps.

11:27AM  Not over yet. Cook does his first “one more thing.” Apple’s new television is here! It’s called Tube. Another shocker: it’s a genuine tube TV, encased in burled walnut, measuring five feet across.

And so the sun sets on WWDC 2012. People are filing out, even though Tim is still up there talking about tube technology.

See you next time. For Scoopertino, I’m Roland Greenfellow.