Apple adds “Magic Rating” across entire product line

Cupertino, CA — There’s magic in the air at Apple. Lots and lots of magic.

In fact, with Apple beating the word  “magic” to death in press releases, web videos and ads, research shows that customers are getting confused.

It’s become increasingly difficult to tell which products are magical, and which are merely astoundingly, amazingly great.

No more guessing when it comes to magic — Apple’s new Magic Rating tells it like it is

Leave it to Apple to make things simple for us.

Starting today, all Apple products will carry an official Magic Rating — so customers can tell at a glance just how much magic they can expect from their Apple purchase. The Magic Rating ranges from one to ten, and is clearly displayed in a graphic sticker on every computer and device.

Unsurprisingly, iPad and MacBook Air lead the pack with a perfect 10. But, as the new ratings reveal, some less buzzed-about Apple products are far more magical than have previously been believed.

The Apple Dock Connector to USB Cable, for example, gets a Magic Rating of 9. “Imagine,” says Apple PR representative Marian Horsfeld, “you can actually move a 12-inch photo through a 2.5-millimeter cable.”

Oddly, the magically named Magic Mouse only gets a Magic Rating of 4. As the disclaimer now appearing on the Apple Store web pages explains: Apple’s Magic Rating supersedes all superlatives expressed elsewhere, including product naming and advertising.

Approaching end of life, Snow Leopard earns a Magic Rating of only 3. “Clearly it would have merited a 10 at launch, but sometimes the magic fades over time,” explains Horsfeld.

Though most are praising Apple for its innovative and helpful Magic Rating, the David Copperfield camp is fuming. A spokesman for the once-magician, now-thaumaturgist said, “Our legal battles with Apple continue. David is hurt and disappointed that the courts have initially sided with Apple, but he’ll never give up. Never.”

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