Thousands flock to see image of Steve Jobs on French toast

Pomaire, Chile — By mid-morning, the line was already snaking through the narrow streets of Pomaire, about 85 miles west of Santiago, Chile. Hundreds of people — young and old, locals and foreigners, rich and poor — waited patiently for their turn to see the miracle now known as “The Toast.”

It was just days before that Andrés Alvarez, a local potter, gazed at the French toast his wife Martina had prepared for his breakfast. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

“‘I say to Martina, I know this man,” Alvarez recalls, “this is the famous American computer man. I wonder why he is on my toast.”

The man, of course, is Apple CEO Steve Jobs.

Word of the miracle spread like wildfire on the Internet, and from all over the world, the pilgrimage to the Alvarez kitchen began.

The Vatican, hopeful that the image might actually be that of Jesus, quickly dispatched Special Envoy Adolfo Rizio to the scene. Rizio, however, confirmed that the face is that of Steve Jobs. “Jesus did not wear glasses like these,” he explains.

Andrés Alvarez: "I wonder why he is on my toast."

The story took an unexpected turn yesterday when The Toast was found to have healing powers. Martha Masonowitz, media planner from New York City, reported that the non-functional wi-fi on her iPhone miraculously started working again when she stepped up to The Toast.

Since then, The Toast has been healing maladies in all kinds of Apple devices. In addition to the worshippers drawn to the miracle, many are now arriving with crippled iPhones and iPods, or even lugging defective desktop computers and displays.

“This is awesome,” says John Luppert, Austin-based graphic artist. “My Mac Pro died and the Genius Bar was booked for a week. So it’s actually quicker for me to hop the plane down here and let The Toast fix it.”

Broken iMac? Think about what kind of repair makes the most sense for you (click to enlarge)

Even the elderly are being healed. Mya Salsbury, a retired teacher from San Francisco, journeyed to Chile with her wheezing Macintosh LC III — which suddenly started purring like a newborn.

Throwing cold water on the good vibes in Pomaire is Apple spokesperson Katya Radiche, who threatens legal action if Alvarez continues to display his discovery publicly. “Miracle or not, that image is copyrighted,” she warns, “but I do hope The Toast can fix the screen on my iPod.”

35 Comments

  1. chris |

    The real question is…how much would this go for on ebay?

  2. Patrick |

    I sent an e-mail to Steve about this:

    Steve, my visit to the Toast has re-centered my life and reawakened my sense of childlike wonder with nature. Are you planning on visiting the Toast?

    —-

    No. This face-on-toast happens to me every time a make a grilled cheese.

    – sent from my iPad.

  3. Rick Harmon |

    Does this mean that Steve Jobs is a false messiah?

  4. Stephanie Sboj |

    I hope this ‘Gift from God’ Miracle Toast will make Mr Alvarez a very wealthy man or he could donate the ‘Toast’ to the Worlds’ hungry.

  5. EvaBabeDesigns |

    Sounds like a miracle! Maybe it can cure world hunger too and provide iPads for all!

  6. listovArt |

    I’ll be mounting my donkey this afternoon for the long journey to Pomeare.

    • jimmy kraktov |

      Mounting your donkey!? Please, there are children watching :~)

  7. john |

    This toast was actually planted by Roxio as alms to Apple as a reward for the platform’s contribution to its financial success.

  8. ManishRawat |

    Is it surely not a marketing gimmick by some apple lover? Can’t think of Apple getting into this kind of crazy viral marketing campaign.

    And if the heeling thing is true than Apple should shut down its repair centers, if there are any in Chile.

  9. Pineapple |

    Well, it seems like a gift from God to Apple fans.

  10. Neel |

    I give you… the “iToast.”

    • Aj |

      ha ha That’s really suitable name

      • guest |

        I have a friend who’s xbox live name is iToast.

  11. Steve Jobs |

    I could just eat myself!

  12. Ivan |

    does this fix antennagate or is that beyond its powers

  13. WBP |

    Looks like Sting to me.

    • This |

      Sting didn’t wear glasses like these.

  14. Abramsm79 |

    Beware, if you get close with jailbroken idevices you will burst in flames and the device will be restore and update

  15. Janwar |

    Ay, carramba! Head bumpers on left are also incredible/amazing ;-))

  16. MarioRancagua |

    VIVA CHILE CTM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. Alvaro Lopez |

    WTF !! La tostadora era marca Apple..

  18. @djcarloscid |

    nueva aplicación! #TheToast sepazzo XD

  19. If Gaete |

    chilean way

  20. Anonymous |

    i’d just eat him

  21. Anonymous |

    It’s true! I bricked my jailbroken iphone and went to apple and got denied. When i went to the toast, it worked better than ever, and i even get signal when i hold it left handed!

  22. Anonymous |

    My cat asked “If I eated it, will I be smart like Steve or sweet like an apple?”.

  23. FGAS87 |

    Steve Jobs was one of a kind. Thank you Mr. Jobs for easing our lives.

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  25. cubanBoy26 |

    if i close up my unlocked iphone,  i lost mi unlock status??!!  jajajajajja
     hay mi madre Santa!

  26. cubanBoy26 |

    muy divertido el invento !!! jaja

  27. Yingtong Li |

    Of course, if you are carrying a Zune with you, the Zune, and you, will spontaneously combust.

  28. Neil Banerjee |

    must be some fan of apple…

  29. Ronald McKenzie |

    Reportedly Steve tried to make his return on a piece of grilled tofu in front of Woz. Unfortunately Woz was distracted by trying to make his Win7 phone function and went ahead and ate Steve, the garnish and part of his paper napkin.

  30. Rohan |

    Don’t get that thing near any thing microsoft

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