WikiLeaks releases 140,000 emails from Steve Jobs

Stockholm, Sweden — Enjoying the occasional Steve Jobs email that trickles onto the Internet? Prepare for the deluge.

Undaunted by their current travails, WikiLeaks has released 140,000 emails written by Apple’s enigmatic leader. While Scoopertino is only beginning to dig into this treasure trove, a richer picture of Steve Jobs is already beginning to emerge.

Overall, the emails reinforce the image of Steve as a man of few words. A cursory review of this massive email dump reveals that 88% of his messages contain three or fewer words, with 84% of those offering only one: “No.”

He did get a bit wordier in an exchange with North Korean bad boy Kim Jong Il. Kim, aching to get a pre-release iPod touch for his son back in August, wrote to Steve requesting “a favor from one dictator to another.” In this case, Steve doubled the syllable count with a quick “Hell no.”

Interestingly, Steve’s most verbose message seems to have been directed to his old partner, Steve Wozniak. With the Woz preparing for his third appearance on Dancing With The Stars, Steve sent an eight-word tome offering his own personal merengue tips: “Stand proud. Hips loose. Mouthwash five minutes before.”

Most surprising, Steve’s emails show that he’s developed a “holy father/son” relationship with Pope Benedict XVI — a bond that formed when Steve sweet-talked the pontiff into appearing in the Pope Rock iPod commercial earlier this year. “Benny,” as Steve often addresses him, has been trying to get Apple to sponsor his next world tour. Steve emailed back that he’s happy to consider, “if you can just tone down the religion thing a little.”

Apple declined to make an official comment on this story, but leaves open the possibility that they will leak one later.

60 Comments

  1. Salamander6 |

    God love the Scoop. If it weren’t for stories like this, my life would be one big rainy day.

    • VC |

      collegehumor.com is funny too. 🙂

  2. pacco |

    What do you request from somebody receiving approx. over thousand emails a day? I receive something between 250-300 and my answers are often not longer than the mentioned ones. It’s not like writing letters to somebody else, it’s more like talking with someone on the phone. And the “Hell no” is fine for me.

  3. flo |

    @pacco: You didn’t get that this isn’t the truth, right?

  4. Tim |

    Where can I find these? Would love to read them

  5. Tim |

    And, how can i delete this comment…? 😛

  6. Florens |

    He did get a bit wordier in an exchange with North Korean bad boy Kim Jong Il. Kim, aching to get a pre-release iPod touch for his son back in August, wrote to Steve requesting “a favor from one dictator to another.” In this case, Steve doubled the syllable count with a quick “Hell no.”

    Genius :’)

  7. Gary O. |

    I’m sure many people/investors will be very interested in whether there are any e-mails from Steve concerning his present health and any new products that are in the pipeline. I’m not commenting on the ethics of someone stealing these e-mails from Apple’s system and releasing it to WikiLeaks. That’s another story, entirely.

  8. ObamaPacman |

    @Gary O.,

    Majority of Steve’s present wealth (a few billion dollars) is from Pixar, which is another company Steve lead to success.

  9. iStan |

    During a few seconds I thought it was real, just the time for me to check on wikileaks and face the sad reality… but that would be great if wikileaks could treat very interesting subjects as jobs’ mails, not this crappy useless cablegate 😀

  10. mann |

    What is the source? Sounds pretty fake..

    • Fadff |

      Oh mann…you’re dumb.

    • Fadff |

      Oh mann…you’re dumb.

  11. johnjohn |

    source please.
    no source = fake

    • Samsamsimpson02 |

      Your asking for a source, on a website of fake news? Are you a spaz or what?

  12. me |

    Scoopertine – unreal apple news says the title…should be fake !

  13. ~ |

    looks like we can pull scoopertino off of the reading list~

  14. Hestiagirl |

    If Apple sponsors the Pope I’m never buying another apple product again!!!!!
    I am a fangirl so it will be tough but I will not support a company that supports a misogynistic homophobe!!!!!

  15. Adam |

    johnjohn: “source please. no source = fake”

    You seem to be quite overwhelmed, so sit back and slow down. Is the tone of the article indicative of something like sarcasm or, say, satire? Don’t you notice anything funny in the side bar? “Apple to turn NY’s Central Park into giant walled garden.” Huh. “Michael Dell joins Apple as Board Jester.” Okay. At this point, you should ask yourself “Well, it’s a joke isn’t it?”

  16. wilnock |

    No source, not even a LOL tag somewhere, neither a conditionnal sentenc…

    Ooops, absolute fake, and especially, wikileaks will not reveale real names, especially in private correspondance.

  17. Salamander6 |

    What a crock. I don’t believe a word of this CR*P. Wikileaks is a serious organisation that is dedicated to uncovering truth. I seiously doubt they would expend precious resources to look into egomaniac’s private life. Get real people.

  18. funincanada |

    a stupid french canadian “journalist” called aude boivin filion on site brachez vous thought this was a real news… they removed the article when they realized that it was a prank (like 2 days after) but it is still in google cache

    http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:mPZYei5Gd_kJ:techno.branchez-vous.com/actualite/2010/12/wikileaks-courriels-steve-jobs-apple-kim-jong-il-steve-wozniac.html+techno+branchez-vous+wikileaks+courriel+steve+jobs&cd=1&hl=fr&ct=clnk&gl=fr&client=opera

  19. Trench |

    Gotta love the poor saps who think this satire is Serious Business.

  20. Professor Leakey |

    I was not able to find the emails…WHERE ARE THEY AND WHY CAN’T I FIND THEM?????

  21. Applicious |

    @Leakey – I saw them…and wouldn’t you know it, they are all in black font.

  22. 诗人 |

    维基解密,牛逼

  23. Marina |

    好多人不知道这是假新闻啊~~~神奇~网站的title不都写着unreal apple news么。。。

  24. Emma |

    OMW!!! People need to understand that THIS IS FAKE. It’s so funny. No source = Fake. Well done, Captain Obvious

  25. Malik Wahaj Ahmed |

    This is funny if it is right. I mean Wikileaks is what? A Mafia organization? It releases all the hacked or stealth documents and then the respective companies ends services for them. I heard Apple has thrown Wikileaks app from its App Store. Is it a Cyber World War-1 ???

  26. Stevish |

    Guys! This is your finest piece so far! I’m laughing outloud! Keep this good work, please. It brightens our wintery days!
    The responses were so Stevish, and the advice to Woz! Brilliant! Benny the Pope! Man! How do you get such amazing ideas?
    But the most hilarious part is those who take this site very seriously. Do you write their responses as well? They are extremely amusing!

  27. Supery O |

    I thought this was true and share with my friends. I worked in a high tech news web, they granted me credit. FML

    • Drumrobot |

      *facepalms*
      *goes to hospital to be treated for a concussion*
      wow…

  28. kP |

    and those are just for 2010

  29. Peter Shankman |

    BRILL to the IANT. Totally had me going for a minute. Well done, well done. 🙂

  30. Maarten Thissen |

    LOL

  31. Kidd Parker |

    fuck you guys check your sources before you publish

    • Samsamsimpson02 |

      Your asking for sources on a fakes site. Idiot

    • Samsamsimpson02 |

      Your asking for sources on a fakes site. Idiot

    • Samsamsimpson02 |

      Your asking for sources on a fakes site. Idiot

  32. Max |

    hi! It is vatican.va, not vatican.it. Vatican is a state on his own, not part of Italy. Bye from Milan

  33. Rock |

    Ahh why do people say that it’s fake I cant tell if their are idiots among us=(

  34. Sandy Andrews Hardy |

    Thank you for making me laugh till I cry……the comment are just as funny as the copy!

  35. Sandy Andrews Hardy |

    Priceless

  36. Simon |

    I sent Steve jobs and emailing asking why i can only watch certain porn sites on my iPad. He responded “no.”

    • Nomis |

      An email. *

  37. Anonymous |

    Guys, do your DueD – these photographs have been forged, as confirmed by Wikileaks: http://mirror.wikileaks.info/wiki/Correction_of_DPA_article_in_respect_to_WikiLeaks_and_Steve_Jobs_HIV_test/index.html.

    Obviously forged by a rival, what do you say Bill Gates?

  38. vineet |

     whoa….thats news !!!!

  39. Naz |

    Finally..oh wait.

  40. Tatil |

    “From one dictator to another”.  🙂 Hilarious… 

  41. Pingback: WikiLeaks dévoile 140 000 mails de Steve Jobs | journalvirtuel.ma

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  43. Appleyngo |

    It’s true!Kim Jong I loves Apple!
    https://sites.google.com/site/sophieinnorthkorea/

  44. luis caudillo velazquez |

    Globo support self business luis caudillo velazquez

  45. Rohan |

    New shirt idea: “From one Dictator to the other”

  46. Pingback: WikiLeaks releases 140,000 emails from Steve Jobs » word.cor.am

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