Steve Jobs’ New Year’s resolutions found on Starbucks napkin

Palo Alto, CA — Uh-oh. Another piece of top-secret Apple material has been left behind in a public place. Only this time the culprit is Steve Jobs himself.

A napkin bearing Steve’s hand-scrawled New Year’s resolutions was picked up by an astute patron in a Palo Alto Starbucks after the Apple CEO rushed out to take a call.

After a brief bidding war with Gizmodo, Scoopertino has taken possession of the napkin and proudly presents this teardown:

The napkin is standard-issue Starbucks beige. Written in what appears to be a thin Sharpie, black, are ten numbered resolutions. It cannot be determined if they are in ascending or descending order of importance. Three mug stains appear to be random.

Some of Steve’s resolutions are shocking and/or surprising, while others suggest a playful CEO who enjoys pranking the likes of Mark Zuckerberg — and fleeing the likes of Steve Wozniak.

Resolution #1 — Keep the Verizon myth going — will likely rock Wall Street today. Resolution #5 — Reject more apps, just for fun — shows a CEO who delights in his work. Resolution #9 may have even the most fervent Apple fans questioning their faith — Upgrade to iPhone 4 when antenna gets fixed.

Apple’s PR department declined to respond, saying they do not comment on unreleased resolutions.