Tim Cook goes on apology binge

Cupertino, CA — Apple CEO Tim Cook knows a winning move when he sees one.

Following positive reactions to his public apology last week, Tim is doubling down on the apology strategy.

In a new open letter posted on Apple’s site today, Cook lets loose a stream of apologies that will further endear him to a range of potential customers, from his neighbors to an unnamed motorist on I-280.

“Our customers have gotten used to our mistakes,” says an Apple spokesperson, “so they may not appreciate them unless we point them out.”

Read Cook’s full statement below.