Court upholds Apple finger patent, Samsung scrambles

San Francisco, CA — Notch one more victory for Apple in the patent wars. And this one is definitely thermonuclear-class.

In a follow-up ruling to Apple v. Samsung, U.S. District Judge Lucy Koh has invalidated Apple’s claim to the touch screen. But she has upheld Apple’s patent on the human finger as input device.

Effective immediately, Samsung is prohibited from selling any phone or tablet in the U.S. based on finger input.

End of the road for Samsung? Not so fast.

The Korean technology company has already innovated its way out of this pickle. Its new line of nose-screen devices will be reaching our shores within 14 days, well ahead of the holiday shopping season.

Goodbye, Galaxy Tab. Hello, Galaxy NosePad.

“The Samsung S Galaxy NosePad 4G has a state -of-the-art Nasal Display to provide users with an even better tablet experience,” says Samsung America’s chief marketing officer, Ralph Santana. “Our Multi-Tip™ technology recognizes gestures from two noses simultaneously, enabling a user to employ more advanced moves when using a NosePad with a friend or colleague.”

Samsung also claims that the new Nasal Display has a special coating that is 99% nose-grease resistant.

Ads for the new Galaxy NosePad are set to run in this week’s editions of Wired and Fast Company. A television ad features a noted otorhinolaryngologist who will speak to the safety and accuracy of nose-controlled computing.

Apple’s latest legal victory will no doubt cause massive changes in the industry, though a new standard has not yet emerged. According to sources, Motorola will follow its own path, betting heavily on its propriety Toe-Touch™ technology, which it will begin integrating into its phone and tablet lines within the next 30 days.

The pornography industry promises to deliver a new breed of touch screens that can be controlled by other parts of the human body.

 

  • Appertino

    You actually got me for a second. Very nicely done!

  • http://twitter.com/ChusZ Chus Zeta

    … xD

  • http://twitter.com/ghodagadi Ghodagadi

    what a great story, what a great image! Boy made me laugh! thank you!

  • Desmin

    this (entire site) is simply brilliant, in a way just like Apple!

  • http://twitter.com/NeilBaner Neil Banerjee

    you said it!

  • Anonymous

    When will we get an artical on the iPhone 5

  • JamesMenzies

    Typical Mac shitposter, L2Facts.

  • flapster

    Typical Mac hater. Can’t even write a legible comment.