EXCLUSIVE: The real Steve Jobs secret house plans revealed

Woodside, CA — You know the story of the old woman who lived in a shoe. Are you ready for the old man who lived in an iPod?

Just one week after Gizmodo’s “exclusive” revelations turned out to be false, Scoopertino has obtained the real plans for Steve Jobs’ new home. The structure — dubbed “Steveland” by the architectural team — resembles a giant iPod nano.

According to sources, construction will begin as soon as Steve blows up that annoying historical home currently cluttering his property. By late 2011, the Jobs family will be living in a $24 million monument to Apple design.

A 42-foot iPod nano forms the centerpiece of Steveland. A conga line of overlapping mega-nanos forms the exterior walls, each nano displaying an image that can be changed when Steve tires of it.

The finicky CEO’s obsessive standards are seen throughout the plans. To eliminate untidy wiring, Steveland is entirely off the electrical grid. The residence and all adjoining structures are powered by a central internal battery (not user-replaceable).

Even the Jobs family shower borrows from iPod design

There isn’t even a visible front door to Steveland. To enter, one must ascend a glass elevator on the rear side of the central nano, then slide down a fireman’s pole into the earphone jack.

The core of Steveland — visible only from the air — is a 120-foot gray-bottomed pool in the shape of the Apple logo. A hot tub forms the leaf above the apple.

Most architects agree that this bold design will take its place as a historic landmark on its own. As expected, others are already beginning to follow Steve’s lead.

Reportedly, an unnamed Seattle billionaire is rushing forward with plans to move his family into a giant Zune.

  • AppleMousePrime

    All the nanopod domicile components are supposed to have early response remote launch capability and can merge together into a giant, rainbow-colored transformer to defend Infinite Loop in the event of a nuclear attack.

  • Jams

    LOL I LOVE THIS WEBSITE!

  • eMTe

    Great website .. Great stories. Pls keep on doing a great job .. Love reading it :)

  • icky vicky

    i wonder if the home security system includes detection of every non-apple user that visits the house…

  • Martijn Atema

    I want to live there!

  • G

    Where’s Multitouch?

  • Justin

    can’t be real look down at the blue nano to the right its floating

  • Logan

    can you jailbreak this house?

  • Emma

    @ Justin

    please, please tell me you’re being ironic

  • Charlie

    lol…i hope that was sarcasm

  • atsch

    One of the worst photoshopped images you guys created,

    I guess if you climb up a ladder the higher you go, the further you fall if you slip

    By the way your other fake images are amazing

    This site is soooo great

  • http://wordpress.com/odayyousif Oday Yousif

    I want that shower head badly. (Yes i know it’s fake.)

    I hope Scoopertino switches their comment system to Disqus.

  • Anonymous

    Your wish is our command! We’ve just switched to Disqus. This better work — or we’re going to hold you responsible.

  • http://www.webbfocusphotography.com Keaton Webb

    I’m stealing his house. I love it. Except I’d live in an iPhone and the rooms would be the Apps. :)

  • A guy

    your ears must need some cleaning if you want to use that shower. Good for steve, he will finally listen to us