Flash found dead in seedy San Jose motel room

San Jose, CA — Out of friends and out of luck, Flash took his own life last week in a 10-dollar-a-night San Jose motel room.

A handgun was found near the body, along with a rambling farewell note.

“He was an icon,” said Danny Winokur, Flash’s best friend and Adobe VP of Interactive Development. “He had it all. Good looks, millions of fans, he was a moneymaking machine. I can’t believe he’s gone.”

Indeed, Flash was invited to all the parties—until 2007, when he wasn’t invited to iPhone’s party.

“That hurt him, for sure,” said Richard Pinkers, author of Flash In The Pan: The Rise And Fall Of Adobe Flash. “He said he didn’t care, it would all work out… but he cared. Trust me, he cared.”

After being slapped in the face once again, this time by iPad, Flash started spiraling out of control. “That’s when he started with the drugs,” said Pinkers. “He’d crash even more than normal.”

The few friends he had left mourned his passing today. “It was tough being around him,” said former pal PlayBook. “He drained the energy out of me. But I still loved the guy.”

Flash grew up knowing that no matter how often he misbehaved, he’d never lose the support of his rich parents. But apparently he’d embarrassed them one time too many. On November 9th, at 6:00am, the engineers got the call from Adobe CEO Shantanu Narayen, who gave the final order: “Get the F out of here.”

“That was the final blow,” said Pinkers, “he couldn’t even stutter anymore.”

Flash is survived by a brother, Adobe AIR, although it is not known for how long.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001027075506 Alexander Prosolkin

    херня

  • http://my2cents4theday.blogspot.com Don Williams

    Brilliantly done, thanks!

  • CrimeTV

    Time for an awesome new franchise!  Law & Order: SWF, where a gritty team of web detectives tries to solve the serial deaths and disappearances of flash-related content.

  • http://twitter.com/bitless Fil B`

    nice byline, coward

  • Acrobat

    I
    kept trying to help him…warn him…beg him…anything.  I even got him
    into rehab once at the Android Clinic, but then he was right back out there, pulled to the dark side by that
    punk Silverlight in some drunken, 24/7 web rave while the world
    went mobile.

  • Bayrojo

    Like the Flash banner ad running on the right of the page. Flash still earns, even in death.

  • Mircea

    “Steve is dead, OMFG, who will fight me now? I’m so alone! :’((((“

  • Reini Urban

    I could swear it was a free motel room. He just sneaked in. Nobody really cared. Until they had to clean up the mess.

  • http://twitter.com/ravedog ravedog

    There’s no ad on this page and if you are referring to the stories box… it’s not Flash.

  • Fuckyourself

    You’re may be the biggest fucktard I’ve ever had the misfortune to read. My mistake for giving you the benefit of the doubt. Can’t wait till you realize how wrong you really are.

  • iBeb

    Either your an Adobe Flash engineer, a Flash developer or a Flash online gamer.
    Who needs Flash anymore? You can do so much more with HTML5 and other technologies developed last years. The last usage I can find for flash is for short cartoon-like animations.
    Prove me wrong and find ONE reason why Flash should live another decade.

  • iBeb

    I’m amongst the people who loved Flash years (and years) ago, when we couldn’t do anything fun with HTML, CSS, JS. The last five years I’ve turned my back to it, finding it slow, inefficient, unsecured, and so on.
    I was pissed off each time Adobe was releasing a new player because since osX they never released one player that perfectly worked (I guess it was intentionally because of the rivalries between Adobe and Apple. Or they really were dumb not to find a way to improve the stability on the mac platform).
    I’ve stopped using Flash in 2007, creating animating with JS libraries, and I’ve deactivated Flash on my computer cursing every website using it.
    I remember how criticized has been the iPhone because Flash was not running on iOs devices. But when you investigate just a little you discover reports that shows how crapy Flash is on mobile devices (impacts on battery life, crashes, erratic behaviors on touch screens).
    It took 4 years to Adobe to realize that and decide that Flash won’t be released on mobile devices anymore. 4 years! Wow. That proves one again Apple leans forward, and the competitors not.
    Flash is (not yet, but almost) dead. Long live Flash.

  • Anonymous

    This is about the saddest sight I have ever seen.  People have amazing power in their hands just to throw it away.  Not just Flash but many notables, entertainers, and nobility.  I always think of that power being harnessed for good.  What makes it otherwise?  I loved the remark by his former pal.  He was loved even when unloveable.  We should never take that for granted.

  • Anonymous

    I loved Flash.  Never let me down.  Adobe Air is another story.  

  • Anonymous

    This is a proper description of the death of a great product who served us well!

  • Daniil Tutubalin

    > You can do so much more with HTML5 

    Really? Give me 3 examples of what i can do with HTML5 that i can’t do with Flash.
    But there are things that cannot be done with HTML5, i.g. videochats, webphones, multi-file uploads.

    And take a look here: http://ishtml5readyyet.com/

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UEBOMQ6WDCH7FMEXZFFJDO5GUM Shepherd

    Now you’re just making it worse!

  • VAS

    And jQuery was outside the room dancing a jig of glee

  • http://www.facebook.com/reyco1 Reynaldo Columna

    I don’t understand why so much hatred towards Flash. You don’t like the technology, then let it be and do your own thing; move on. I am a Flash developer, I have been successfully banking for the last 10 years  making not only websites but desktop applications, mobile games and mobile applications. I have been able to do research and experiment with voice recognition, motion detection, face recognition, augmented reality and a slew of other applied sciences solely using Flash. The money I make allowed me to get married, buy a home and put my kids through school. How can I hate that?

    In regards to the “death of Flash”, do you guys really think that is the case? No one was targeting the Flash player on mobile browsers, hence, development for that ceased and Adobe concentrated resources in other areas like AIR and HTML5. Wouldn’t you have done the same? As a developer, I adjust to the times and at the end of the day putting food on the table and keeping a roof over my family’s head is all that matters and I see Flash/Adobe giving me that opportunity for years to come.

    Albeit, there are a slew of crappy developers out there creating crappy Flash sites, apps and games, but that’s not the platform’s fault. That’s just that, a bunch of crappy developers. Can you  really judge a tool because of it’s user?

  • http://whoisbradsedito.com Brad Sedito

    Amen to that, Reynaldo. I’ve written a lot of the same on Twitter/Google+ about this topic. Whatever happened to “To each his own?”  I owe a lot of my professional development and knowledge to the Flash Platform (including AR and experimental Flash tech). 

    …If you can’t hate it, embrace it.  =)

    @bradsedito:twitter Brad Sedito – Google+

  • http://whoisbradsedito.com Brad Sedito

    What I want to know is: why is that sheet on the bed dark brown? Haha gross.

  • mp3conspiracytheorist

    I guess they haven’t washed the sheets since the Gen 1 Zune bit it in there.  This motel has a history, if you know what I mean.

  • Anonymous

    HERE-HERE Reynaldo!!!  With friends and co-webbers who use flash, it is a shame it has come to this..  Just like GoLive CS2 dumped for Dreamweaver.  GoLive CS2 is STILL superior to Dreamweaver, but since it was ‘unpopular’, Adobe pulled the plug.

    It had layers. ..  The DHTML back in 2004 (probably before), it had animated layers…  Much of the same stuff I see in Adobe Edge.  I’m a bit surprised and saddened that each release changes the way you do things.  Photoshop 7 can hang with Photoshop CS2 – only difference is texting on shapes.  Honestly, that is truly about it.

    HTML 5 is still ‘unborn’ with super freaks putting together consolidated months of hard work.  I love flash for many things and Flash is on iPhone and iPad via NOT A JAILBREAK, but via Photon (Browser).  Keep in mind, lighter weight the flash, the better it runs.

  • http://whoisbradsedito.com Brad Sedito

    Look hard enough and you’ll see an original Apple Newton

  • Omnis3Guru

    I think Flash typed its goodbye cruel world note on a Psion Organizer.  They found it next to the gun.

  • Timbo

    Whew . . .  for a moment there, I thought you were talking about the superhero. 

  • http://www.actionscriptdeveloper.co.uk Dave

    Do people think the flash player is only for video and games?  For me the main thing Flash has over HTML5/CSS3/JS is creating large-scale RIA applications with Flex.  Sure, you can do it with various frameworks and HTML widget libraries (Sproutcore is quite nice) but it takes substantially longer in development, testing, debugging and maintenance which translates into a higher cost for the customer for the same experience.

    I have no doubt that the open web stack will eventually replace Flex – which is a good thing – but that time hasn’t arrived yet.  Prepare for a year of high profile and expensive HTML5 fails…

  • PeopleNotTheTool

    1. Try to Unzip a file with Java Script on the client, without taking for ever.
    2. What about events not from on click, but a real event handler.

    The problem is that everyone thinks because html5 has a video tag, and can now slide an image across the screen that that means it can do what flash can do. Yes you can watch videos, and slide an image, and even have a shadow, which was done 10 years ago.  You have to be kidding me when you say that you can do the same things. What about re-usability,  working with teams, and actually making a large scale project. Html-5 just isn’t there yet, not to say it won’t be some day. So for all you haters out there that can’t develop with flash, just chill a little, you won, congratulations you got html5, a product that is 40% of what flash can do to win, that is the most impressive thing.

    By the way, I have the 3rd thing html5 can’t do, that flash can do. How about looking the same in Internet Explorer, and in Chrome. How about not having to test your app in 15 browsers? Do you think that is a good one :}

  • Marcos

    +1

    “..you can do it with various frameworks and HTML widget libraries (Sproutcore is quite nice) but it takes substantially longer in development, testing, debugging and maintenance which translates into a higher cost for the customer for the same experience.”(Dave)
    “..a product that is 40% of what flash can do to win..” (PeopleNotTheTool)
    “… I have the 3rd thing html5 can’t do, that flash can do. How about looking the same in Internet Explorer, and in Chrome. How about not having to test your app in 15 browsers? Do you think that is a good one :}”(PeopleNotTheTool)”PREPARE FOR A YEAR OF HIGH PROFILE AND EXPENSIVE HTM5 FAILS…” (Dave)      :’(

  • JokeLeague

    When he dies, they’ll change his name to Bury Allen.  ^_^

  • Paul

    - It’s not standardized
    - The performance is terrible
    - A web dominated by flash is a web monopolized by a single company
    - If the web is dominated by flash, every new device that wishes to display webpages needs Adobe to choose to create a flash player for the platform.
    - It encouraged obnoxious practices such as ridiculous animations
    - You can’t scrape it or index it or search it
    - Loading time

    I shouldn’t need plugins to see a web page. I shouldn’t need a particular operating system, computer, or processor architecture to see a web page. There is a standard that exists for the creating web pages, developers shouldn’t actively be using it. HTML5 is here to replace the very few things that you formerly needed flash to do.

    A developer of a browser can whip HTML into any shape for any platform, be it a desktop, a phone, a car’s touch screen, or some device that doesn’t exist yet.

    In HTML development there is much talk about separating content from presentation – the information on a page is laid out in a way that makes sense to structure information, and then CSS displays it in a visually pleasing way… but if you get to the barest level, a text-only browser or a screen reader, you can still clearly understand the information. Flash inseparably couples the information and presentation which makes it impossible to access the information on a platform that has no flash support.

    But the idea of flash does have its place: where the content is the presentation as it is in many of the things to stated above. The problem that flash is not open is still a major issue though as there are so many different devices that access the internet now. If flash was open source, there wouldn’t be a need for HTML5. But a this point, one must admit that if HTML5 is capable of everything flash was capable of, then HTML5 is the better option due to 100% device support for devices that wish to support it.

    Though the performance of flash is still abysmal due in part to the lack of  implicit graphics acceleration.

    And this part of your post stuck me hard:
    “at the end of the day putting food on the table and keeping a roof over my family’s head is all that matters”
    You can put food on the table by selling heroin and bombs. It doesn’t make it right. That’s a terrible justification for using flash.

  • Anonymous

    Nobody liked Flash for websites. It wasn’t meant for that. It was good for high-level interactive applications. Online games, simulations, creative displays, etc.

    Also, the performance was terrible? Compared to what? I’ve yet to see a Javascript/HTML game that runs faster than the equivalent in Flash.

    It wasn’t open, but hardware acceleration came at pretty much the same time as it did for HTML5 (look up “Stage 3D”, formerly Molehill). ActionScript is an extremely good, well laid-out scripting language. It had excellent content creation tools.

    While you seem to think plugins are bad, it actually was an asset to Flash. Since all different browsers plugins were developed by Adobe, there were no incompatibilities between browsers. Content could be developed for one platform, and run exactly the same on every other. That’s something HTML5 aims for in theory, but truth is, every developer needs to validate his code against every single browser to make sure it works, simply because each implementation is different.

    In a sense, Adobe tried to control their environment exactly like Apple does with iOS.

    In the end, the death of Flash won’t change a lot to users. We’ll still get unoptimized ads, dumb intros and long loading times, except in the future, they’ll be in HTML5.

  • Alexander

    Flash is a horrible technology. It is exfuriatingly bloated and hard to learn. Its maker sucks. It is obsoleted with HTML5 and CSS3.

  • http://twitter.com/jubairsaidi Jubair Saidi

    MS Access made money for lots of folks.. years ago.. Flash is just one of those techs that rose, was high flying for a while, and then started to die off in the advent of better tech (HTML5 CSS3 JS Frameworks etc)

    If you are good, then hey by all means stick with it.  but you better have another tech under your belt for when it really dies.  the good thing for you though is that as it dies, fewer devs can be found for it, meaning there would be more money for you when you do find clients who need flash dev work.  But really, it may be better simply to do what any smart dev would do and as quickly as possible, become good at the new tech that is looking to replace Flash, mind you… tech in high demand.

    end of the day, it’s really about the demand as to where us devs go.  

  • http://twitter.com/jubairsaidi Jubair Saidi

    I totally agree but the same could be said about a lot of programing languages and tech out there.. it started an idea and the interent took that idea and applied it in a more effective way (html5 css3)

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