Interfacelift: Apple panics, junks iOS 7 icons

retro page 1Cupertino, CA —  Just weeks after unveiling “a stunning new interface” for iOS 7, Apple CEO Tim Cook has let loose with an even bigger stunner.

The widely panned interface has been junked months before iOS 7 even ships.

At a special press conference today, Cook trotted out a new design scheme that leverages Apple’s heritage — and saves a few bucks in the process.

The new iOS 7 design brings back the original 1984 Macintosh interface. By doing so, Apple hopes to warm the hearts of its users and wash away the bad taste of Jony Ive’s first software effort.

3xfinal

Timeless beauty: the original Macintosh interface brings new elegance to iOS 7

Cook opened the press conference with a bit of humor. “I don’t suppose you’ll believe our first shot at iOS 7 was all Scott Forstall’s fault,” he quipped.

According to sources inside Apple, Cook faced a painful decision: suffer more attacks for a substandard iOS 7 or abandon ship on the controversial design and swallow millions in development costs.

Summoning the ghost of Mac OS 1 made the decision easy.

“The old icons are tried and true. Plus, they’re already paid for,” said Cook.

“Cha-ching,” added Apple Chief Financial Officer Peter Oppenheimer, in his only contribution to the press conference.

iOS 7 is still on schedule to ship in the fall — and guaranteed to delight octogenarian Apple fans around the world.

  • scottsiegling

    Hilarous!

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  • AK

    Watch it.

    You might be licked to death by the likes of Gruber. Because if tomorrow Ive farts in a bottle and sends it to Gruber, Gruber’ll write a 1800 word long post describing “how that is best smell he has ever had” and how “Apple gets it” and “it just smells”.

  • Carsten

    This looks like the good old GEM Desktop, or the GEOS OS. Welcome back ;-)

  • Sofie D.

    You forgot to mention that the long-rumored “low-cost” iPhone is going to have a monochrome screen, which the new “classic look OS” plays well with.

  • Parzival

    Looks a lot better than the original iOS 7

  • iKnowTheFuture

    WHAT THE HELL, THIS IS STUPID! APPLE HAS COMPLETELY LOST IT. I ALWAYS KNEW ANDROID WAS BETTER, I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING MORE RETARDED.

    I WILL SWITCH TO ANDROID, I TELL YOU THAT. AND NO ONE, NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME! THIS IS JUST BAD DESIGN. FROM BAD TO WORSE.

    NO AMOUNT OF FACEPALMS IS ENOUGH TO EXPRESS MY HATRED, MY CRUSHED HOPES, MY ANNOYANCE TO SUCH STUPIDITY!

    HOW CAN THEY LET THIS HAPPEN? I CAN’T SEE THE LOGIC IN THIS! THIS IS COMPLETELY ILLOGICAL, AND IF YOU’RE ABOVE 6 YEARS OLD, YOU HAVE TO AGREE.

    AND CHARGE $600 FOR A PHONE WITH THIS GARBAGE? GODDAMN IT, I’D RATHER DIE THAN PAY FOR GARBAGE. APPLE JUST TOOK MOBILE TECHNOLOGY BACK TO 1984, LITERALLY.

    APPLE WILL BE BANKRUPT. SAMSUNG WILL RULE.

    I once loved them. It’s a shame. Shame on you, Tim Cook. I always knew you were a Google undercover, destroying Steve Jobs’ creation. This is just sad.

  • Tardroid

    Beta link?

  • Tardroid

    too much time in your hands bro.

  • lupito

    1. Lay off the caps key. You are really annoying.

    2. If this is a joke, it’s not a funny one.

    3. If you’re serious … well, I don’t even want to contemplate that.

  • Joe G

    Tell me you can’t be fuckin serious. Scroll to the top of this page, and look in the top right corner, then look at my comment again.

  • Stuart

    I so hope the title was deliberate- “Apple Panic” was a brilliant Apple ][e game from about 1984. Panicobj was the launch program- can’t believe I still remember that!

  • KalanHowse

    lol :P

  • paolo formentini

    Gen & GEOS look and feel are ready for samsung ^_^

  • paolo formentini

    no drive license / comment on this blog under 10 yers old…please

  • Shark2145

    you do know that this is a parody site. Right? An innocent galaxy s4 owner.

  • gctwnl

    If this is meant as pastiche, it is really funny. The sad thing is that there are people who shout like this while being serious.

  • Jackson Lacy for Bitten

    ?

    bittentech.wordpress.com

  • Boris

    This fake shit is hilarious

  • plusaf

    Your sense of humor circuit has failed… try rebooting.

  • GadgetCanada1

    Loved GEOS on my Commodore 64!!

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