By Lucas Meppen-Negal | June 16, 2010

Jobs fumes over iPhone launch fiasco, pens “Thoughts on Revenge”

Cupertino, CA — Angered by the server meltdowns that marred the first day of pre-orders for iPhone 4, Steve Jobs has once again tapped out an open letter on apple.com. This time, he’s swearing eternal revenge upon AT&T.

“I know millions of you are just as frustrated as I am,” says Steve in his latest missive, titled Thoughts on Revenge. He promises to “make AT&T suffer mightily” for wrecking what was supposed to be one of the most glorious days in Apple history.

Jobs muses about some of the ways he might take revenge, but stops short of promising any specific action, or offering a timeframe in which action might be expected. The full text of Steve Jobs’ open letter can be seen by clicking the image below.

AT&T would not respond to emails asking for comment, as their servers are wigging out again.

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  • Bruce Wilson

    Although I was successful in placing a pre-order (on ATT site — Apple Store site never did respond….. I guess, according to Steve, the Apple Store site was really ATT), I am disappointed by Steve’s comments — whatever the failures of his “partner”, swearing revenge is not only unprofessional but also wrong. Reflecting on his blowup over the server problem during his keynote, it seems Steve is inclined towards petulance and immature reactions when things go contrary to his desires. I suspect many who see my comment will disagree but I stand by my belief that revenge is NOT the right attitude or approach.

  • Jason B

    Fake

  • JohnnyK

    @Bruce Wilson:

    You do realize this is ‘Scoopertino’ don’t you?

    I have to admit that I was reading through RSS feeds and didn’t notice at first what source I was reading, either.

    I’ll bet he was thinking something similar to this, however.

  • Bruce Wilson

    Actually, I didn’t pay attention to where it was shown — if this is a fake then I’m relieved that (even if he thought it) such vitriolic comments were not publicly offered.

  • http://gwaldo.blogspot.com Waldo

    I vote tying each of those technically responsible up through the Execs to a chair in a dank cement basement, lit only with a single 40-watt bulb, and looping the Verizon “Can you hear me now?” repeatedly. For variety, occasionally turn the light off.

    -Waldo

  • Patrick

    OK, I’ll bite. Is Bruce Wilson real or not? If he’s real, I want to explain to him that this was an obvious fake, even if you don’t know you’re on a fake new site.

    But what if he’s fake? That would mean that I fell for a fake comment on a fake news site. But if he’s real and I don’t educate him up, I’ve missed a chance to demonstrate my superior perception, and I don’t want to miss that.

    Please let me know what to do.

  • Jeff

    @Bruce Wilson….c’mon dude, do you HONESTLY think this is REAL? OMG get a clue! Even if Jobs’ thinks this, no way in HELL will it ever be posted. Get a clue!

  • mark

    @Bruce. I don’t know what’s funnier. the SATIRICAL post from “Steve” or your intial response.

    did you not see “a whole fucking day of agony” 3rd sentence, second paragraph?

    “if this a fake?”

    UNREAL APPLE NEWS up there, in the banner, next to SCOOPertino.. read it again U-N-R-E-A-L

    tip: this is not real either http://theonion.com/

  • no way

    There is no way this is real. Steve would never write with this infantile voice, seeking revenge, using words like “payback” and “revenge.”

    This is prbly written by a teenager, as it sounds very immature, and probly a Fandroid…

  • http://www.apple.com Steve Jobs

    Listen fuckheads, this isn’t fake. I wrote this shit and it’s real. Just cause I’m a top tech chief doesn’t mean I cannot vent like everybody else and ATIT deserves a real ass kicking.

  • Jason Fouks

    If you wrote this article please put the link in the comments so we can all see the article. I don’t believe it is a true article. Steve is too political to openly write this letter especially with swear words in it…

  • john

    What’s wrong with these people???????

  • http://www.apple.com Steve Woz

    How stupid are you people? I mean really? I just have no words for this. BTW, Jobs you seriously fucked up. You should have omitted the swearing and colloquy.

  • Bill Gates

    Thank you Steve Jobs. It’s about time you started targeting other companies. Windows 7 is still losing ground and until Apple develops a new os for the desktop we at Microsoft, are at a lost for features. Our stupid PC users can’t think of anything else except how cool the Mac is.

    Anyway, way to go we have your back.

  • http://www.AT&T.com AT&T

    Mr Jobs, You never asked us if our servers were ready… you never asked us if we had servers in the first place… and you NEVER asked if you could plonk your iphone on our network!

    Good luck Verison, you can have them!

  • Steve Ballmer

    I like his strategy, I like it a lot.

  • jtcolter

    i thought Jobs was too old to go to the prom?

  • Aldrin David Mallari

    LOL! I first thought that the onion and scoopertino is real too! I easily learned that scoopertino was real because of the OBVIOUS (which some people don’t really observe). The onion, on the other hand, really fooled me into believing of the “Friend Bar” news; kept looking for it in the Apple website. =D

  • NOT Bruce Wilson

    The humour value of these articles are multiplied by the daft comments.
    I’m just sad that I don’t know this Bruce Wilson chap, I’d love to mock him in person.
    It does say UNREAL APPLE NEWS right at the top of the page.

  • Tyler

    @Bruce Wilson
    Even if you read this through an RSS feed and didn’t know the source, I find it very funny that you actually believed this… You shouldn’t believe everything you see on the web lol

  • Gdawg

    This is real i mean who is that gullible