Angry Zune owners ignite Occupy Apple movement

White Plains, NY — They’re mad as hell and they’re not going to take it anymore.

Incensed owners of Microsoft’s fabled Zune player spilled into the streets on Sunday to vent their anger. But rather than take over public spaces, they’re focusing on Apple — the company they hold responsible for the demise of their cherished platform.

Occupy Apple has now taken over two Apple Stores, though calling it a “takeover” is a bit generous. In White Plains, NY, the Zune zealots were estimated at five — and that included one protester’s unborn child.

“We’re fighting corporate greed,” said Alexi Kravinik, leader of the NY group. “Apple owns 99% of the good design in the category. That’s blatantly unfair.”

The exact goals of the Occupy Apple movement are hard to pin down. One faction demands that Apple cease iPod production for two years to let Microsoft back in the game. Another demands that Apple simply produce a brown iPod.

Either way, the movement hopes to focus public attention on Apple’s special brand of corporate greed.

“There’s only one reason Apple made a better music player than Zune,” one demonstrator charged. “They’re trying to win customers for themselves. Whatever happened to sharing?”

Surprisingly, the manager of the White Plains Apple Store is happy to have the group camping out on the premises. “When they’re not huddling together or chanting the Z-word, they’re stocking up on Apple gear,” he said. “They’ve actually become my best customers.”

Though the movement is barely a day old, Occupy Apple has been a roller-coaster ride of emotions. Late Sunday, demonstrators erupted with glee when a rumor circulated that Apple would build an optional “Zune mode” into the next generation of iPods. But spirits dropped to a new low when the rumor was proven false.

While Microsoft executives are buoyed by this show of strength by Zune owners, they are also bracing for an occupation of their own. A massive group of Windows-weary customers has promised to begin occupying Microsoft Stores — as soon as they can locate one.


  1. Anonymous |

    Another Apple’s marketing strategy to increase its popularity. It did make some news but TOO CHEAP! Zune is dead already. There is no need to use this kind of play to show off yourself.

    • Anonymous |

      You did  not read the bottom-right corner of the page. did you? 

      (Technically, Scoopertino may be lying about not being affiliated with Apple, but as long as there is no proof for that, why assume it?)

      • SugarRush |

        It’s definitely an inside job.  Apple keeps pumping out the viral marketing to take advantage of us.  At this rate, the Kool-Aid will never run out.

    • Ian Davies |

      Humour. Have you heard of it?

    • PeteysPoppa |

      Aaaaaaannnnd…. Scoopertino reels in yet another one!

  2. Indx |

    It’s funny, I was linked here, started reading the body without paying attention to what site I was on, and actually believed it, but as I read on I kept thinking “this can’t be real, this sounds like a Scoopertino story”, and sure enough…. it was.

  3. Sheeds |

    average photoshop skills :p

    • Anonymous |

      Average comment from WP7, Samsung and Zune owner.

    • PeteysPoppa |

      Having made the mistake of clicking over to your blog, I can say that you have no business criticizing anyone else’s skill sets.

  4. PubFloozy |

    I think by “insanely pissed” he means “very drunk.”  He just got in line like Forrest Gump when they were making signs.

  5. Puppettruth |

    Apple is one of the biggest polluters there are!  They use slave labor in China and only want you to consume their crappy products!  I suggest making it impossible for Apple to make a profit by not buying their littler and only using their PPC (apples before they were intel) computers!  Make them pay for their greed!

  6. common man |

    F**k these apple.
    They hav ruined our generation
    Just earning profits for themselves
    Its play of RICH class

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