Apple introduces Siri Pro: for serious Apple lovers

Cupertino, CA — Think Siri is all talk and no action? Think again.

Targeting lovestruck Siri fans, Apple today launched Siri Pro — at long last giving that little vixen Siri a unique and accommodating physical presence.

Whereas the Siri included with iPhone 4S can only go so far with her flirtation and innuendo, Siri Pro is designed for a more fulfilling relationship. She’s a fully functional pleasure-bot, sexier than a MacBook Air and more seductive than an iPad.

The inspiration for Siri Pro came from the Siri servers currently in operation. Over 65% of the questions and commands put to Siri by iPhone 4S owners indicate the user’s desire for a deeper bond. Top interactions include: “Will you marry me,” “Can I buy you a drink” and “I want to have your robotic children.”

“When we say we listen to our customers, we’re not kidding around,” says Apple worldwide marketing chief Phil Schiller.

Siri Pro is available at the Apple Store for $999 (32GB) and $1,299 (64GB). Alternate personalities — Streetwalker, Catholic Schoolgirl, Nurse — are available via the App Store for $9.99. Aluminized lingerie is sold separately.

55 Comments

  1. Pingback: Targeting lovestruck Siri fans // January 25th, 2012

  2. Pingback: Siri Pro pentru adevaratul fan Siri

  3. ljmac |

    “Siri Pro never goes down. Unless you ask nicely.”

    Love it!

  4. Collin Robinson |

    I’ll bet she would make me a sandwich! 

    • boredumb |

      you’d have to buy two…

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  6. ljmac |

    Surprised at the lack of comments on this article – are the people who take the articles on this site seriously too embarrassed to comment on this one? 😉

  7. Anonymous |

    What about a man Siri? With a man body?

    • Thehoodedclawreturns |

      Now that Cook is in charge I’d expect a male version shortly 🙂

      • ljmac |

        LOL! 😀

    • SirThomas |

      The market is better for female robots, that’s why they developed this one first. Also your going to have to order the french speaking version, if you want it before it sells hear in the states.

    • 123 |

      Are you gay?

      • Flaviomurad |

        Yes!  😉

  8. Pingback: [Bild des Tages] Siri Pro – Get Siri-ous | iPhomania

  9. Anonymous |

    😉 Never mind that, CAN I RUN TWO VERSIONS of the app AT THE SAME TIME?

  10. Pingback: Siri Pro. ყველაფერი siriოზულად | GO! Electronics Blog

  11. MrGlobal |

    If I got one and we…you know…did it, would the children be Sirian?

  12. Pingback: Siri Pro – Muito mais do que uma assitente pessoal

  13. Net12947 |

    I met her sister, SERIOUS, she’s really hot

  14. Fuckmeister |

    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK  

    what are thay kidding me ?

  15. Smashadamz07 |

    Lol…I love this site and Siri

  16. Imouto |

    hey what about alter ego “tsundere imouto”. is it available ?

  17. Cisg2010 |

    hey ! watch out this awesome Apple video in steve’s voice !

  18. Cyrus Blades |

    costs a $G? WTF? I can spend like $5 at a bar and get some 18 blonde ditsy chick to do all this crap… HAHAHA! FAIL!

    • Lindsay |

      Seriously? Get a life!!

  19. BANG725 |

    Nice tits

    • TheBlondeDitsy |

      Lol right

  20. Chris11ferret |

    It will get in a SIRIous fight with android

  21. David |

    These guys who needs siri pro , i thnk , they should search for some girlfriend .

    • Lindsay |

      Finally a person on this site with a brain! As a woman though, I can understand why all these man whores are single.

  22. StormRaider1997 |

    This has to be fake

    • Lindsay |

      Unfortunately it’s real -.-

      • Bay |

        No it’s really not. 75% of you guys are idiots. Your kidding right? You believed this?

  23. Teddy Maitre |

    That’s voice answer app and you just put the Siri logo on voice answer nice try

    • yoseph |

      WTF are you talking about?

  24. Pingback: #Siri Pro | gethash.org

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  26. Ashlee |

    If it was a man, we would have sirians. Cuz, you know, sex can take us far.

  27. haloliker |

    Damn, she is really expensive 🙁

  28. Pingback: What is Siri? | iMacZone

  29. Sirio |

    Is this real? Or a joke

    • Guy........just guy. |

      Real

  30. Rt |

    I would like siri pro but the price I could never afford..I would make it more fun to trash talk and have fun instead of the plain boring siri.

  31. Pingback: Apple introduces Siri Pro: for serious Apple lovers | Scoopertino | Deep Space from the Deep South

  32. Savannah |

    I can’t believe it has come to this

  33. Lindsay |

    Wow this is sad. People can’t get in REAL relationships so they pay to marry a disembodied voice.

    • Lindsay |

      And most of the stuff they do with this thing is just plain WRONG! OMG it’s no wonder these men are so desperate, I would rather DIE then go out with any of u freaks!

      • Мистер Пивиш |

        Look of what we got herea, jealousy? Y u kno u gotta problem with obesity if man prefer a silicon gadget instead of you. I tink that fat boring chicks everywhere made this happen.
        But no worry u can always find sum black man to fcku. So male version of siri aint needed.

  34. Logan |

    Wtf they are having a nake* robot for iPhones

  35. Nicki |

    How do u get Siri pro?

  36. Miquel Alejandro Gargallo Llam |

    I must confess that this is so cool, FREAK ajajjajaajaja BRUTAL ajajajaaj

  37. tonicmole |

    Before commenting scroll to the top of the page and read the web site you are on. It literally says “Unreal Apple News” and “All the News that is fit to fabricate.” Come on people….seriously.

  38. John Felix Koziol |

    It was only a matter of time.

  39. Lè candy man |

    Uhhh…at the bottom of the picture it says “all the fake Apple news”

    • LeShie |

      ?I see that now, how fake is it?

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