Apple Store tests Idiot Bar as complement to Genius Bar

Cupertino, CA — Tired of waiting hours or days to get an appointment at the Genius Bar? Help is on its way.

Citing research that proves over 60% of the Genius Bar customers are clogging up the works with dumb questions, Apple is testing a new concept called the Idiot Bar.

By siphoning off customer problems ranging from the laughable to the pathetic, the Idiot Bar will free up the Geniuses to take care of more serious problems, more quickly.

“We like to think of the Idiot Bar staff as a lower grade of Genius,” said Ron Johnson, Apple’s VP of Retail. “These people are trained to speak your language.”

Customers recognizing their own intellectual handicap may make Idiot Bar appointments online. A greeter at the Genius Bar will also re-route worthy customers to the Idiot Bar after asking some basic questions.

The Idiot Bar will not only speed up the tech support function of the Apple Store, it is expected to open up a new revenue stream.

Surveys show that 84% of those qualified to visit the Idiot Bar tend to do exactly as they’re told — and no doubt they will frequently be told it’s time to upgrade.

After first proving the concept in backwoods markets, Apple plans to roll out the Idiot Bar in more sophisticated metropolitan stores as well.

“Trust me, I’ve seen the service records,” said Johnson, “the Idiot Bar could well become our most popular attraction.”

Though Apple bills the Idiot Bar as “tech support for the rest of us,” it may really be “for the most of us.”

30 Comments

  1. Vighnesh Iyer |

    This seems to be one of Apple’s more ingenious ideas.

    • Derpster |

      It’s their most ungenious idea.

      • Anonymous |

        Disingenious?

  2. Anonymous |

    I am surprised this has not become reality since apple thinks they are so superior to everybody.

    • ObamaPacman |

      So that people like you have a place to go to?

      • Arcke |

        Hahaha and it’s people like you who he’s talking about. Also before you decide to explode in a fit of childish rage, I own both a PC and a Mac.

      • Anonymous |

        똥과 죽을 먹고

      • Anonymous |

        똥과 죽을 먹고

        • Chazzmundo |

          Nice reply. I would also like to add that I most certainly did not use Apple in any way whatsoever to find out what that meant…

        • Valentin |

          Vas te faire foutre!Moi aussi je peux insulter en langue étrangère!

          That means “Screw you, I can say mean words in a foreign language too!”. By the way, it’s french 😉

          • Anonymous |

            You dumb ass fucking Frog…it takes all of those words to say something as easy and short as screw you (and such dirty words too), and then you frogs sound like you have a potato caught in your throat.

            BTW:  Thats plain Engrish!

          • Anonymous |

            Have a listen at these; after the first you better go spend the day in confession.

            Asian Pride – Got Rice? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnuDc6sFdqk&NR=1

            Still Got Rice? Asian Pride 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNpkLjnmgiQ

        • Anonymous |

          “똥과 죽을 먹고”!
          my words exactly !

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  5. @Jackintosh |

    Awesome, I just downloaded the companion iDiot app for iPhone and iPad. Only problem is I can’t get it the little app button thingie to stop wiggling an stay still. I think my iPhone is broken.

  6. Jrblockquote |

    This may sound stupid, but a lady next to me brought her broken iPhone when I last visited the genius bar. The genius bar guy asked her a few questions and she stated in a factual manner that the iPhone was dirty and she washed it in her sink. The genius dude just looked at her with disbelief and stated that water and electronics don’t mix.

    • dumdum |

      MAc users are so damn stupid.

      • YourMom |

        So’z yer face. Your face is stupid.

  7. The? |

    For people who can’t open their iBoxes…

  8. Keith |

    wouldn’t it be called the iDiot bar?

  9. Dominique Blatt |

    My favorite is “Does email get delivered on holidays”?!!!

    • Techy8789 |

      I like the second one

  10. WhiteRussian |

    Idiot Bars are the perfect way to ensure a consistent user experience vs. talking to outsourced Apple support idiots. Plus, if Apple Stores can get liquor licenses, then idiots can have somewhere to go to meet each other for drinks.

  11. Ramon |

    This will most likely be run by red-necks.

    • Paddington Bear |

      Why is that Ramon?

  12. Charlie Rand |

    Well, at least we now know what the “i” in iPhone, iPad, iPod, iBook etc stands for.

    • YourMom |

      Stands for me. Meeee.

  13. Anonymous |

    Apple and ‘backwoods markets’  in the same sentence! Never thought that would cross my path!

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