Maiden, NC — Once again, Steve Jobs is poised to pull a surprise out of his hat.
Apple’s 500,000-square-foot North Carolina facility, long thought to be a server farm set to power the company’s cloud-based services, turns out to be nothing of the sort.
According to a source close to the project, the facility is actually the world’s largest vault — where Apple will stash the $60 billion treasure it holds in reserve.
Each of four connected vaults are designed to hold a different type of asset. One of the largest vaults, measuring over 140,000 square feet, is dedicated to US currency — kept crisp by an advanced climate control system. Apple engineers are already at work to reduce the amount of space needed for currency, co-developing a million-dollar-bill with the U.S. Treasury.
“Smaller” vaults (measuring 75,000 and 95,000 square respectively) will house Bonds & CDs and special Apple-designed gold bullion.
The largest vault in the facility — covering a mind-numbing 230,000 square feet — would make Jack Sparrow blush. Here, pirate-style, Apple plans to store jewels and contraband in overflowing chests. This jives with recent rumors that Apple Stores will soon be accepting jewelry from cash-strapped patrons.
But don’t think Apple has taken its eye off the cloud. A small broom closet near the facility’s southeast service entrance houses the servers that will provide cloud-based magic to Apple’s customers when and if the company sees fit.
Public tours of Apple’s North Carolina facility will begin June 1st. Admission is $29, payable in cash or bullion.