Flash found dead in seedy San Jose motel room

San Jose, CA — Out of friends and out of luck, Flash took his own life last week in a 10-dollar-a-night San Jose motel room.

A handgun was found near the body, along with a rambling farewell note.

“He was an icon,” said Danny Winokur, Flash’s best friend and Adobe VP of Interactive Development. “He had it all. Good looks, millions of fans, he was a moneymaking machine. I can’t believe he’s gone.”

Indeed, Flash was invited to all the parties—until 2007, when he wasn’t invited to iPhone’s party.

“That hurt him, for sure,” said Richard Pinkers, author of Flash In The Pan: The Rise And Fall Of Adobe Flash. “He said he didn’t care, it would all work out… but he cared. Trust me, he cared.”

After being slapped in the face once again, this time by iPad, Flash started spiraling out of control. “That’s when he started with the drugs,” said Pinkers. “He’d crash even more than normal.”

The few friends he had left mourned his passing today. “It was tough being around him,” said former pal PlayBook. “He drained the energy out of me. But I still loved the guy.”

Flash grew up knowing that no matter how often he misbehaved, he’d never lose the support of his rich parents. But apparently he’d embarrassed them one time too many. On November 9th, at 6:00am, the engineers got the call from Adobe CEO Shantanu Narayen, who gave the final order: “Get the F out of here.”

“That was the final blow,” said Pinkers, “he couldn’t even stutter anymore.”

Flash is survived by a brother, Adobe AIR, although it is not known for how long.


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