For those who couldn’t catch the live event, here’s a transcript of Scoopertino’s coverage of Apple’s iPhone 5s/5c event in Cupertino yesterday.
9:56AM Hi all. Roland Greenfellow here. Glad you could make it for our live coverage of this much anticipated Apple event. Excited to see a lot of color circle thingies today. Wore my polka-dot boxers for the occasion.
10:02AM Apple has definitely cut corners on this one. Charged me $14.95 for a Wi-Fi connection and four bucks for a cup of coffee. This better be good.
10:07AM In the auditorium now. Crowd is hushed. Here’s Tim Cook!
10:10AM Don’t really get why he’s holding that chunk of cheese though.
10:15AM Schiller is on now. A little babbling. And now … iPhone 5c! Five colors! Cheap as hell.
10:22AM Tim walks in and gets real serious. Issues stern warning to the copycats. These are Apple colors — Apple will vigorously protect them in the courts.
10:26AM Tim suggests Chiquita do a little genetic modification and try a blue banana. “Just don’t make it too close to our blue.” Then goes back to his seat.
10:39AM Hold on… Phil is unveiling yet another iPhone, even CHEAPER. It’s called iPhone 5b.
10:40AM “b” is for burlap.
10:51AM What can follow that? You guessed it — iPhone 5s. Awesome, simply awesome!
10:52AM The gold color is totally cool. Environmentally conscious too — made from 100% recycled bling.
11:16AM Phil gets back into 5c. He has “one more thing” to tell us about the name. The “c” stands for … CHEESE.
11:17AM Damn, now I get it. Wow, I should have caught on to that quicker.
11:17AM Cheesy venue, cheesy Jony video, and now even some cheesy iPhone cases. These guys are marketing geniuses!
11:19AM Wait — now there’s one more “one more thing.” The iPhone 5c case actually doubles as a cheese grater.
11:20AM COOLNESS! We all have a gift under our seat. It’s an iPhone 5c case and a coupon redeemable for a one-pound chunk of Wisconsin cheddar!
11:22AM Closing the show now. Musical guest. It’s …. HOLY COW, Elvis Costello. Crowd going berserk.