Say the magic word: Apple sues David Copperfield

San Francisco, CA — Here’s something David Copperfield can’t make disappear: a lawsuit filed by Apple in California Northern District Court. At issue: the word magic.

Apple claims ownership of magic, demanding that Copperfield immediately cease using the word, and seeking $4.2 million in punitive damages.

No question, magic has been in the air in Cupertino. Following Steve Jobs’ introduction of the “magical and revolutionary” iPad, Apple has used magic to describe iPad on its website as well as in videos, press releases, newspaper/magazine ads and TV commercials. Apple also sells a Magic Mouse, Magic Trackpad and only last week introduced the Magic Footpad. Indeed, The Academy of Magical Arts in Los Angeles tells us they’ve already discussed dropping their use of the word, simply because Apple has run it into the ground.

But David Copperfield is standing his ground. “I’m a magician. I do magic. End of story,” reads his 9-word statement. 16 words, if you include “Tell them where they can shove it,” which Copperfield gracefully added following his statement.

Apple’s press release explains, “David Copperfield has every right to entertain, but no right to confuse. In the public eye, magic equals Apple. Mr. Copperfield dilutes the Apple brand and profits by his use of an Apple asset.”

Our source inside Apple expresses frustration with the famous illusionist. “Copperfield went way over the line when he started using the magic word. That’s Apple territory. There are plenty of other words to choose from: sorcery… legerdemain… thaumaturgy. He’s a creative fellow, he’ll figure it out. He just needs to keep his mitts off of our word.”

41 Comments

  1. Carrie Rostollan |

    I was composing a stinging note to Apple when I rethought myself and figured out that this story was fake.

    Isn’t it enough that the real news doesn’t give us the truth enough? What makes people sit up and write fake news stories all the time?

  2. Some guy on the street |

    @Carrie Rostollan
    This whole site is for fake Apple news. It’s for comedy and brings joy to us.
    Get a sense of humor.

  3. Lucas Meppen-Negal |

    @Carrie:
    As the author of this article, I was composing a heartfelt reply. Then I realized I’m just an imaginary character, so what’s the point.

  4. Dennis Fagan |

    I am an imaginary indignant who just discovered he once again wrote a stinging comment like some talk show phone addict who needed one more place to vent and now I can’t erase what I wrote, and, Gawd, I hate this frickin’ internet thing. I miss CompuServe.

  5. Cletus |

    i cant beleive apple things they own magic i mean its been in the dictonary for what 100 years now?? lol you cant own something thats so old

  6. Martin |

    Well similar things actually have happened in the past. Do you know the game monop*ly?

    They have filed lawsuits over the ownership of this dictionary word.

  7. Kell |

    Wow! I love this site! It’s like a website that mocks people for following a religion in spite of the way in which the church is governed.

    Wait, that’s exactly what it’s like…

    • Allanrasco |

      Kell, I can’t help but notice the irony that “religion” is so pervasive that even Apple had to copy a BIBLICAL ICON which has long represented KNOWLEDGE because they couldn’t CREATE anything better.  Kinda like all of us MAGICians trying to emulate the MIRACLES of God.  Hehe, settle down Kell and enjoy the joke.

  8. mat |

    LOL! i too thought this was real until i realized what this website was all about! 🙂

  9. Jym |

    Well I’m sure glad you folks bin having this debate because I would have walked away thinking that this report was real. Imagine that. Apple trying to own the word magic. I might write to Steve Jobs anyway.

  10. Globinch |

    So what other magics are going to happen now?

  11. Calum |

    To be fair, Apple’s products are a lot more magical than Mr.Copperfield’s.

  12. Mr J |

    Ha!

    Trust the story is a fake, as strictly speaking, Apple’s tech products are no more magical than Mr Copperfield’s illusions.

  13. Jerald |

    Umm… you are NOT “The Onion”. Please stop trying.

  14. Some Norwegian Bastard |

    This is just grand! This made me to laugh out loud and this is not figuratively speaking either!

    Keep it up! 😀

  15. cocoman |

    “magic equals Apple”
    this one made me really laugh 😀
    seriously, i own an iphone and are no apple hater or something like this, but at this point of time apple equals shit.
    they’re just some silly company. ok, they have success and don’t make bad product at all, but hey, they’re damn silly and feel like they’re the kings of the world,well, they at least appear to me like that…

  16. Reggie |

    If such a lawsuit were real, Copperfield would make it disappear.

  17. Maksym |

    Next thing Apple will do is to sue Queen for their song with words “This is kind of magic” 🙂

  18. Nikki |

    Jerald is right. Although I know this is ‘fake ha ha news’, the sad thing is I think a lot of us could see Steve Jobs sinking this low.
    PS, David Copperfield still performs magic??

  19. Janocek Vribal |

    I really hate stories as this type. What wrongs with America and these not fun webs? Stop it Apple!!

  20. Gmac |

    Apple better tread lightly. The “Dave” has ways of making things vanish into thin air.

  21. Alexa |

    I just tweeted just how much I love creative, funny people. Thanks. You made my day. You have no idea, really…

  22. Michael Woolf |

    I claim ownership of the word “Apple.” I have been eating apples for many years before any IT company came along. My lawyers will be acting to prevent Apple from using that word in future.
    Michael Woolf
    Editor “Magicana” Magazine
    New Zealand

  23. Aldrin David Mallari |

    @Janocek Vribal:

    What?! If my translation for your statement is correct; “I really hate this type of stories. What’s wrong with America and these webs that aren’t fun? Stop it Apple!” (I dunno what you mean by “fun” there, but you’re weird); then I’ll prove you wrong! Can’t you see? This is a website that makes fun of Apple? This ain’t real! It’s all fake!

  24. icky vicky |

    Feel the Thaumaturgy…
    Feel the Legerdemain…

    LOL even if its fake it still cracks me out LOLOL

    Man, we really are running out of words with Stevie running around… I’m thinking of spelling it differently, like Appul or Apl… And also maybe Maejeek, or Majik…

  25. icky vicky |

    How about this, “Get your fresh appuls, fresh appul!!” from people selling a certain red fruit on a fruit stand…

  26. john |

    Next Apple will be suing users of the word “imagine” (John Lennon’s estate?) or women (or men) named Imogene. Everyone knows Apple owns everthing that begins with “i.” That’s why the use iNtel processors now.

  27. Michael Sanders |

    Fortunately for Apple, this story is false. I would not want to be Steve Jobs or any employee of Apple if this story were true.

  28. Steven-Leigh |

    ridiculous! apple need to get their heads out their asses

  29. Mickey Elliott |

    Complete fabrication. What kind of company would try and sue a world renown illusionist? If apple
    really tried to sue David Copperfield, then Apple should try to have the copyrights to the word
    APPLE.

  30. unknown |

    I am not taking sides but what about Magic Johnson? Are they going to sue him too? Sorcery probaly too but it is a name used.

  31. Mucobahqrie |

    Wow! I love this site! It’s like a website that mocks people for following a religion in spite of the way in which the church is governed.Wait, that’s exactly what it’s like…

  32. Josh White |

    WAY too many people thought this was real. 

  33. Joebannor |

    this is not fair why david?

  34. Lee CB |

    LOL at people that think this is real news. LOL

  35. Philip Klipper |

    APPLE  HAST TO BE KIDDING RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY HAVE NO LAW SUITE IT WILL BE THROWN OUT OF COURT. AND IF THEY HAD ANY SENSE THEY COULD HAVE WORKED SOMETHING OUT WITH MR COPPERFIELD TO HELP PROMOTE THERE PRODUCTS. STUPID STUPID STUPID…
    MAGICALLY,PHILIP KLIPPER PM

  36. Magicwindley |

    I thought David Copperfield was a fictional character in a book?

  37. Mentconnec |

    Read the upper corners people……

  38. Alan Munro |

    Speaking as a magician, does Apple really want a boycott on their hands, because of such a moronic claim?

    • ThirstyOne |

      Yes, but how do you feel speaking as an idiot who can’t recognize a satire site that is clearly labeled as such?

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