Steve Jobs in dramatic bid to lure Beatles to iTunes

Cupertino, CA — Tired of the endless back-and-forth with The Beatles’ Apple Corps about landing the Fab Four’s catalog on iTunes, Steve Jobs has taken matters into his own hands. Literally. To demonstrate his love for The Beatles, the self-confident Apple CEO reportedly locked himself away in a San Francisco recording studio to re-mix his favorite Beatles tunes — featuring his own vocal stylings. The result was: The Fab Five: Steve Sings The Beatles.

According to our source (who has provided accurate information in the past), Steve believes that Apple Corps will take this CD as the highest compliment, and that his creative crooning will rekindle the stalled talks. “Steve is really at wit’s end about this. He’s thrown everything at The Beatles but the kitchen sink. In his mind, he’s got the element of surprise with this one. They’ll never see it coming.”

If all goes as planned, The Fab Five will soon be available on iTunes (click to enlarge)

Agreed. Only problem: The Fab Five isn’t exactly a work of art. An engineer at the studio, speaking anonymously, reports that Steve tortured the crew for 45 days, 32 of which were spent on I Am The Walrus alone. “I had a bad feeling from the first time he walked in, greeting each one of us with an uncomfortably happy ‘Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da,'” he says. A source close to the producer describes a Steve Jobs who “really sings from the heart, but has a weak falsetto.”

Will Steve’s homage melt the hearts of The Beatles? The Fab Five will either be one of Steve’s greatest victories — or a very expensive party favor.

[Update: Yoko One has received Steve’s CD and isn’t exactly happy. Read the full story here.]


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