Apple blasts into supermarkets with revolutionary Apple Water

Cupertino, CA — Step aside, Perrier. Prepare for oblivion, Poland Spring. After steamrolling the music player, smartphone and tablet markets, Apple is out to disrupt a whole new category.

A major ad campaign for Apple Water kicks off today (click to enlarge)

Today Apple announced Apple Water — a cool refreshment made for those willing to suspend all logic and pay the price for Apple’s lavish attention to quality and design.

“If you’ve been drinking the juice, you’re ready to drink the water,” proclaims Apple’s website.

Like iPod, iPhone and iPad, Apple Water is part of a closed ecosystem. By breaking the seal, you accept a User Agreement that prohibits refilling the container with tap water, spring water or any unauthorized third-party water.

Power users can quench their thirst with Apple Water Pro

“We’ve heard people say ‘there must be something in the water over there,'” said Apple spokesperson Lindsay Grebner, “and there is. We’re happy to share our water with fans all over the world.”

Apple Water is indeed an Apple-lover’s dream — pure, clean H2O, captured in Apple-designed containers from the central irrigation spigot at Apple’s corporate headquarters.

AAPL stock soared on the announcement today. Analyst Gene Munster of Piper Jaffray raised his target price to $500, noting the low cost of materials and customers “endless thirst and inscrutable need” for all things Apple. “Apple Water,” says Munster, “is somewhere between tap water and holy water.”

A 16-ounce container of Apple Water retails for $9.99. Apple Water Pro, a five-gallon jug, is only $49.99.

240 Comments

  1. Yeah |

    iPhone?

    • Michaeldbreen |

      As long as it has the narcissistic i factor it will sell.

      • Karfrs |

        Finally! Will they add flavors to it? I also heard that in the Apple Water 2 they would put a touch screen in it. So I am just going to wait for Apple water 2… Thank you apple…

        • Aleo75455 |

          You know they have a new Otterbox H2O case for it! Guaranteed to keep you Apple water from spilling

          • A guy |

            do u think that iwater will support angry birds, rather than shooting off a screen, u squeeze the bottle to shoot birds out. Anyway, the bogeys (pigs) will now drink the iPiss mentioned by someone else

  2. Yuppppieh! |

    Wow! Here, we say someone is even so smart he invented warm water. And now as we see Apple did!!

    Almost as their line-up is incomplete without an iKettle device =/

  3. 1stkoreansf |

    There would be some moronic faniboi that wud buy it!

  4. Anonymous |

    I’d buy it if it was cheaper.I am such an apple fanboy

  5. Don't lick the robot |

    About time, that Android water has such a metallic taste to it.

    • omats |

      yeah ..tru

  6. nyp |

    This product lacks that “magical” and “revolutionary” part :p

    • Xmcrfan666x |

      I miss my ibox :'(

  7. Dom |

    This is a fake, the actual product from Apple is called “iCeliquid”.

  8. XCRider |

    Windows water is full of viruses.

    • Benzie |

      Linux will be pissed… oh wait… Linux Water: Not as bad as Windows Water, but worse than iWater. Oh, they’re workign on a cleaner Windows water 2

      • Akshat Jain |

        Nah, you have combine Hydrogen and Oxygen in Linux Water.

        • Coralium |

          Just add fire wire.

      • Mgfreak |

        But Linux is for free 😉

        • Linuxman |

          The water in Finland is the most purest in the hole world. Linux.

    • Paul |

      You are a penis

    • omats |

      yeah…that was before windows 8.0 H20

  9. kpm |

    Shouldn’t they just acquire kool-aid? that would be a better strategic fit.

    • TheWatchfulOne |

      They already make their own kool-aid. Search this site and you can find out more about it. ;^)

    • KoolAid Koolness |

      “OOOoooYeahhh”

    • applelicious |

      The Steve Jobs would be crashing through everyones wall…
      “Oh Yeah!”

  10. zifis |

    Is there a jailbrake that allows refilling for free?

    • Ace_di |

      You can refill from tap water using iTunes for just 99c but you need to drink it the same day.

      • Blaze |

        You mean the iFaucet. Oh BTW, you’ll need to replace all of your existing faucets with the iFaucet.

    • °°°°°°°° STOLEN IDEAS °°°°°°°° |

      might Apple sue the lakes for the invention of the water?

    • KJeih |

      lol

    • Abigail Rommel |

      Hahaha!!! That’s rich!

  11. Ben |

    That bottle is ugly, how dare someone come up with a mock idea and place it in an ugly bottle.

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  13. Paeleben |

    Hahaha! I’m sure everybody will find Apple Water when the will introduce their files storage in cloud!

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  16. Asdflk |

    I want the guy in the picture with the bottle

  17. Davej |

    Oh Wow! I can’t wait to get some Apple Water. Will it still work with my non-apple mouth and throat?

    • James Conaway |

      Only if you hold it right.

      -Sent from my iPhone.

    • Anonymous |

      No – but rumour has it, Apple will be releasing iClone shortly …

      • nr |

        ruuuuuumourr

    • Emiliya Veitch |

      you will need to purchase an iMouth and iTroath extensions and plugins for the revolutionary low price of $99.99, only now, hurry and don’t miss out 🙂

    • Jim Allshouse |

      well not at first. I heard that it is going to be proprietary to the iMouth for 2 years till Verizon has a compatible version.

  18. Gropierre |

    So, it will be available in supermarket! I’m surprised it’s not only available in Apple Store…

    • Henrik A. Nilsen |

      Will take another 1-2 years before it will be available here in Norway

  19. Antriksh Yadav |

    I never liked Symbian water anyway. This looks like an awesome alternative. Can’t wait to give it a try. I guess I’ll get the optional ingestion vessel too so that I can get the best experience out of it.

  20. Admin |

    Funny.

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  22. Alex Tudor |

    i hateee thissssssss , i will go back to my Linux Ubuntu after 3 yrs been with machintosh

  23. fanboy |

    I’ll only buy it if the make the bottle shiny and raise the price.

  24. Phim |

    i heard the new version comes with front facing camera

    • Emiliya Veitch |

      and a choke preventing accessory (sold separately for $49.99) which is a hand that pokes out and hits you in the back if the camera detects bloating and suffocating face with its super advanced face recognition tool

  25. Darren |

    This is soo fake, no way any apple product would be sold for less than £100……

    • Benzie |

      believe it.

      • Anonymous |

        darren is right . lol

      • Anonymous |

        darren is right . lol

      • Anonymous |

        darren is right . lol

      • Anonymous |

        darren is right . lol

    • Jdeegurad |

      It’s real

      • Dominique Blatt |

        Really! Where do you buy this at?

        • Alison |

          LOL

        • Blaze |

          You start by removing the ‘a’ and ‘t’ from the end of your sentence. Then remove the gullible from yourself. 

          • Trey Wedge |

            Ever heard of  “texan goes to harvard?”

    • Sanchit Thakur |

      They is the cheapest apple product as yet, but, they will upgrade Prices in iWater 2.0

  26. Tikvah |

    LOL!
    Molecular perfection!
    Literally twice as many as
    many hydrogen
    atoms as there are
    oxygen atoms!

    • Thais Ghion |

      I see trouble. H2O2 is the hydrogen peroxide formula.

      Isn’t it?

      • Emiliya Veitch |

        I knew a woman that drank 
        hydrogen peroxide (few drops a day and increasing it slowly) in order to “oxygenate” or refresh her brain i guess. Well..she was clearly nuts, that’s for sure 🙂

    • Thais Ghion |

      I see trouble. H2O2 is the hydrogen peroxide formula.

      Isn’t it?

    • qwerty |

      if its O2 then it would be H4O2 which is just 2H2O

      • wildcatgirl1994 |

        if its just O2…it would be just…oxygen…

    • Jat_989 |

      what does hydrogen peroxide have to do with this? this is for watr which is H2O (does this use html?) or H 2 O

  27. dc |

    not compatible with Flash pasteurized water

  28. James Skippy Clark |

    nice graphics. wet is funny. you could do better though and you know it.

  29. Saxshoe |

    I really like the way you have to fit to Steve Jobs preferences!!! It really fits Apple’s motto “Do it Steve Jobs’s way”.

  30. Saxshoe |

    Lol ben Stiller will do anything for money

  31. Anonymous |

    customer review and bug report:
    – connection with my iphone failed even after 2 bottle reset
    – can’t sync with outlook but it worked with my sink (the one in the bathroom); error message “custom app not recognized: Sync_with_my_sink.ipa
    – one of my kids got diarrhea after first use
    – succesfuly uploaded vodka and now it rocks!

    • omats |

      COOL……lol

  32. Redneckotaku |

    When is the iWater Nano comming out?

    • Khagure |

      im personally waiting for iwater touch. the whole bottle is touch screen

    • Lolppl |

      This Is all absolute bullshit

  33. Steve |

    Can’t wait for the higher resolution 5 litre version.

  34. Guest |

    Everyone who was at WaterCon 2011 knew something was up when we spotted Steve Wozniak chugging from a specialized canteen. He had three of them. When begged by fans, he spit some out so they could lap it up. Good times.

    • Shasashu |

       lol..

      • mik |

        hahaha . epic m/

  35. Peter Drinkwater |

    Can I get a dehydrated version for ease of conveyance?

  36. Brennacj |

    the cap is still on and hes drinking it…

    • Xmcrfan666x |

      He poked a hole in the cap with the iShank

  37. Kuwaitiguy9 |

    Its called the iDrink. The smaller version is the iSip.

    • Emiliya Veitch |

      or Nano version

    • omats |

      iSip is cool

  38. Carlsb |

    I wonder if apple water will improve my cardio workout performance. It has to, don’t ya think. Imagine running longer and harder whilst listening to my ipad in my rucksack. I love apple water so much I think I gonna get it installed right from the water main in my street. Do apple do water meters and will they charge by the litre or gallon?

  39. Bruno Gall De Blasi |

    When iPhone Dev-Team starts the research for jailbreak tool?

  40. hein |

    just wonder how version 2 will taste

  41. Bill Doors |

    – There seem to be some cooling problem: the iBottle gets pretty hot after a few minutes of use.
    – Couldn’t interface it to my PC to transfer the water as the stopper just wouldn’t fit into the USB hub.
    – Hopefully the next version will include an optional NIP plug compatible with a stantard LIP socket.
    – Where do I download the bloody operating manual from??? It wasn’t included in the package!

  42. Benzie |

    Bought it a couple days ago. Just came in. Oh, there’s a problem when i try to download soda_root_beer.flav from the App Store. No problem with soda_orange.flav though!

  43. Jarofgoo |

    can you download iTunes with it?

  44. Lucas |

    Do I have to jailbrak it to put tap water?

  45. Chipf70 |

    I hear that Apple Water 2 will be compatible with Nike Plus and my iPod to tell me when I am dehydrating and need more Apple Water. But they will come out with a newer more advanced model every two months, so I am going to wait until they release Apple Water 5 before I get some.

  46. Luiz |

    I would like to see the Tech Specs for it…. THAT would be funny!

  47. Steve Wolfson |

    Yeah I don’t trust it to not leak, besides speaking of leaks, I saw some pix taken at
    FoxFaucet and Water 2.0 looks amazing heard it comes with a new unbreakable glass container,
    support the 4g hose connector, the new Water Me service will show authorized refill taps
    ($0.99 per refill) and a really cool new Brita docking station. For only $49.95 you can get
    the new “Tea” connector that will permit green tea additions (again $0.99 per enhancement) and
    Apple also cut a deal with Paramount to offer Picard “Earl Gray” for $1.99 per flavor available
    in the Aqua Store soon. There is rumors of a “Hot” button but those are unconfirmed.

  48. Billy Chin |

    What happens when you mix Apple Water with Apple Kool-Aid?

    • Samcastic |

      You get iYeah.

  49. All hail the Apple |

    Bug report:
    -I tried syncing my iWater to my iPod and the iPod crashed immediately. It won’t turn back one!!!
    -uploading beer to the optional vessel made it stop working right.
    -None of the containers are dishwasher safe! Do not try at home!
    -iWater has no service in refrigerator or freezer.
    -iWater malfunctioned and disappeared after first week of use.
    -the temperature triggered color change never took effect until in freezer, but iWater wouldn’t stay that way and wouldn’t let me drink.

  50. Sid |

    almost a perfect joke. except the water is under iphone. damb. should have created a new dept for it damb

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