By Miyoko Yamada | January 23, 2011

Apple blasts into supermarkets with revolutionary Apple Water

Cupertino, CA — Step aside, Perrier. Prepare for oblivion, Poland Spring. After steamrolling the music player, smartphone and tablet markets, Apple is out to disrupt a whole new category.

A major ad campaign for Apple Water kicks off today (click to enlarge)

Today Apple announced Apple Water — a cool refreshment made for those willing to suspend all logic and pay the price for Apple’s lavish attention to quality and design.

“If you’ve been drinking the juice, you’re ready to drink the water,” proclaims Apple’s website.

Like iPod, iPhone and iPad, Apple Water is part of a closed ecosystem. By breaking the seal, you accept a User Agreement that prohibits refilling the container with tap water, spring water or any unauthorized third-party water.

Power users can quench their thirst with Apple Water Pro

“We’ve heard people say ‘there must be something in the water over there,’” said Apple spokesperson Lindsay Grebner, “and there is. We’re happy to share our water with fans all over the world.”

Apple Water is indeed an Apple-lover’s dream — pure, clean H2O, captured in Apple-designed containers from the central irrigation spigot at Apple’s corporate headquarters.

AAPL stock soared on the announcement today. Analyst Gene Munster of Piper Jaffray raised his target price to $500, noting the low cost of materials and customers “endless thirst and inscrutable need” for all things Apple. “Apple Water,” says Munster, “is somewhere between tap water and holy water.”

A 16-ounce container of Apple Water retails for $9.99. Apple Water Pro, a five-gallon jug, is only $49.99.

Tags: ,

← Older Comments
  • FPSoft

    Will it short out my MacBook?

  • Pingback: 5 Crazy Apple Products We’re Glad Don’t Exist

  • Ahriman

    I heard that it won’t be compatible with all drinker’s tastes?

  • Khagure

    im personally waiting for iwater touch. the whole bottle is touch screen

  • Cambodia Germany Catalina girl

    Mechanic math teacher school guy from omgele! I want you back :(

  • Blaze

    You mean the iFaucet. Oh BTW, you’ll need to replace all of your existing faucets with the iFaucet.

  • Blaze

    You start by removing the ‘a’ and ‘t’ from the end of your sentence. Then remove the gullible from yourself. 

  • Blaze

    In order to get this in your house you have to buy iFaucet. Oh BTW, you’ll need to replace all of your existing faucets with the iFaucet, and replace all your glasses and cups with iGoblets.

  • Linuxman

    The water in Finland is the most purest in the hole world. Linux.

  • Alhakam1978

    Next year we will have iwater S with Siri you just say “open the butle Siri ” or “how much water do I have Siri ” but you can’t ask where is the water outside the USA

  • Pingback: Apple Water « The Life of a Daniel

  • Pingback: iWater Anyone? « Geeks Guide To Productivity

  • Augustine

    ROFL. I mean, Apple has its merits, but its also true that people tend to overrate its products

  • Paul

    You are a penis

  • Fred

    And after drinking your fill you can  create iPiss.  Just make sure you don’t violate the copywrite by using 3rd party urinals.

  • Jukli

    wait i dont understand this at all. is this jusr regular drinking watewr like what does it do

  • Gauravtilokani

    Reports say that iWater 2.0 will upload your waterr to Apple’s iCloud servers so you can easily carry the bottle around and download your water on the go at incredible 4g speeds.

  • Gauravtilokani

    Apple is now suing oceans for patent infringement on the H2O molecule.

  • Gauravtilokani

    You can get it at any supermarket in Diagon Alley. It’s listed under iPhone because it’s an iPhone accessory

  • Gauravtilokani

    The water doesn’t come out when I hold it in a certain way!

  • Samantha

    lol is this real I want some!

  • http://www.stolenideas.org/ °°°°°°°° STOLEN IDEAS °°°°°°°°

    might Apple sue the lakes for the invention of the water?

  • Trey Wedge

    Ever heard of  ”texan goes to harvard?”

  • Sriks

    Join today our iPint – a Water Harvester Program: $99 annual
    fee and submit your pint of water for quick distribution.  This will be sold only via iTunes, starting at
    $0.99, members gets 0.60 cents per refill, Apple drinks the rest. , Refills
    have to be approved by Apple Testing group, we approve H2O only, Apple juice or
    any other form for juice is not permitted.

  • A guy

    do u think that iwater will support angry birds, rather than shooting off a screen, u squeeze the bottle to shoot birds out. Anyway, the bogeys (pigs) will now drink the iPiss mentioned by someone else

  • Jasper Davidoff

    Be sure to get refill insurance. 

    “My Apple Water is empty.”
    “That’s because you drank it.”

  • Emiliya Veitch

    you will need to purchase an iMouth and iTroath extensions and plugins for the revolutionary low price of $99.99, only now, hurry and don’t miss out :)

  • Emiliya Veitch

    and a choke preventing accessory (sold separately for $49.99) which is a hand that pokes out and hits you in the back if the camera detects bloating and suffocating face with its super advanced face recognition tool

  • Emiliya Veitch

    or Nano version

  • Emiliya Veitch

    I knew a woman that drank 
    hydrogen peroxide (few drops a day and increasing it slowly) in order to “oxygenate” or refresh her brain i guess. Well..she was clearly nuts, that’s for sure :)

  • Emiliya Veitch

    I heard that Steve Jobs is working on a new technology now - iGhost 

  • Guest

    where can I buy it?

← Older Comments